Life, 1920-12-16 · page 28 of 45
Life — December 16, 1920 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
## "For That Awkward Moment" This satirical advice column offers young women canned compliments to flatter various professional men they meet socially. The humor lies in the transparently insincere nature of each line—a scholar who isn't dignified, a clergyman being teased about morality, an actor fishing for stage validation. The satire mocks both the shallow social conventions requiring women to praise men and the vanity of these professions. ## "It May Be This Way—Soon" A brief story about a prosperous-looking man entering a bank to request a large loan—for a turkey dinner. The satire appears to critique either post-war economic precarity (appearing successful while financially struggling) or the absurdity of taking bank loans for frivolous purchases. ## "Local Gossip" & "To His Car" Small-town gossip about a librarian, and a sentimental (mocking?) poem about a sold automobile, addressing it as a lost companion. The page reflects 1920s social humor about class, gender roles, and American consumer culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LIFE: For That Awkward Moment To Be Memorized and Used by Young Ladies When New Men Are Presented A SCHOLAR—“ I've always thought professors were so dignified; you aren’t the least bit dignified, are you?” A Crercyman—"“ My! We'll all have to be good now, won't we?” An Actor—“ How thrilling! People have always said I should be on the stage.” A Docror—“I have a brother who is just crazy to be a doc- tor. Do you suppose he will ever learn?” A Jourxatist—* I've always wanted to be a newspaper re- porter; they say it is perfectly fascinating.” An Autnor—"T can't imagine how you think up such clever things to write. I'm sure I never could!” It May Be This Way—Soon S the man! He has just stepped through the marble por- tals of the magnificent bank. Now he is sauntering as bravely as possible across the tiled floor to the desk occupied by the cashier. Yet the poor fellow does not look to be on the verge of bank- ruptey. On the contrary, his appearance is quite prosperous. He is about to plead with the cashier for the loan of a large LOCAL Gossip sum of money Nancy Toppin hes been a-hevin’ quite a time uv it The man wants to buy his family a turkey for their annual running the East Rockton Library. Bein’ as how Tony's dines, place is shet, they ain't been no other place to go to git i warm this cold spell. She couldn't git no help with the furnace, and it riled her up to hev to shovel coal fer them loafers, an’ she didn't like their sassiety much, hi he made it a rule that they hed to read or a book anyways. he give Sam Blake, who peddles oysters, Pearls of Thought, and Bill Jenks, Waldo’s hired man, held onto Success Through Concentration one whole week. Joe Flagg caused the most trouble, fer he kep’ goin’ to sleep ind droppin’ his book, Awake and Aris: nd thet would upset the other students. Finally Joe said he'd run the furnace fer her, and most of the readers go ‘round to the cellar and set with Joe now. To His Car, Which He Sold EAR Runabout, where are you now disporting? What is the sequel of your gay career? Up what far, alien hillside are you snorting, Or gliding down on confidential gear? Whose hairpins now your seat and floor are strewing? For veils and hairpins small concern you feel; But well I know your faithful heart is rucing Your master’s hand upon your steering wheel. Still are you strong, but have no joy in power; Still are you ficet, but have no zest for speed. The olden strangeness of lamp-lighting hour And darkening fields that yet more dark recede, The allure of charting by the Sisters Seven, Are gone. I hear you say, “Oh, let me fect Before I die, or in some motor heaven, My master’s hand upon my steering wheel.” Lilian Wadsworth Closson. HE high prices are climbing down, but they are proceeding THE “REDS” slowly, as if afraid they might hurt themselves. THREE HUNDRED YEARS ACO comicbooks.com