Life, 1920-12-16 · page 10 of 45
Life — December 16, 1920 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a satirical letter column by Wallace Irwin mocking American government inefficiency through the eyes of a fictional Japanese observer. The writer poses as a naive Japanese schoolboy writing to Hon. Harding (likely President Warren G. Harding) with questions about U.S. Treasury spending and tax collection. The satire criticizes Republican Party promises to reduce government waste and high costs. The letter includes absurdist details—government receipts mixed with glass-ware company documents and doctor's certificates allegedly proving "bribery"—to mock bureaucratic incompetence and corruption. The accompanying cartoons show the Japanese character in exaggerated poses, emphasizing the "outsider perspective" device used to critique American political and fiscal mismanagement. The humor relies on contrasting naive questioning with obvious governmental dysfunction.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-LIFE- Letters of a Japanese Schoolboy Will Hon. Republican Party Reduce the High Cost of Wealth? O Editor Lire, electric brain lighting American homes, Sweethearted Sir :— Now that Hon. World have been saved from Democracy and America are free from dan- ger of having friends, are it not time that “this U. S. (including Japa- nese) commence thinking selfishly about themselves? Answer to this question is, Yes. Therefore I send you this hasty delivery letter (price toc) to ask you please go to Ohio and sce the Govern- ment. Look as French as possible, if convenient, and unofficially approach Hon Harding (Republican) with the follow- too many ing questionaire to find what he intends to do about it: 1—How much money do Hashimura Togo owe U, S. 1918 when he paid it? Incum Tax since Jan 1, 2—How can he pay it, if neccessary? 3—How oftenly must he pay it? that Party of Efficiency have +made a slide (land, snow and back) into management of the White House at Wash. D. C., must they not work with speedy quickness to reduce Incums so that rich persons can be sifficiently poor to spend what they earns without fear of arrest? All these ince valuable thoughts came “Fill that up with your Incum,” he said distinetually By Wallace Irwin houncing against my soul last Thusdy am. when my cousin Nogi arrive up from P. O. Dept. with an enlarged envelope of South complexion contained between his thumb. On upper left hand pocket of that letter I observed slight Government printing to say, “ Treasury Dept. Officious Busine: T turn pale until I look almost Swedish. “How do Hon. Treasury know I am here?” I ask to know without breath. “Already,” renig Cousin Nogi, “Hon. Harding appointing his cabinet. Everywhere nice situations of work are opening for brite young Republicans, re- gardless of political convictions, you could not afford high prices at court of St. Jas. Howeverly, Sec. of the Treas- ury would be good job for Japanese.” With those speech he went johntily off- ward while whistling Jolly Widow Dance, new popular song in America. No more soonly T alone than T bursted that letter with inflamed fingers. My brain was full of happy sawmills to think that high-up Wash. D. C., had re- membered my humble origin, What shall I think then when I saw it? Government tipewriting filled that page with following disgusting verbs: American are was Dearsir we beg to acknowledge your false report of Jan. 1, 1918 and wish ask how you obtained Decduction 3-A in Col. G carried forward with bal. of 4$ plus surtax from Item 14 (a) Col. 7 Page 1? We ask to know how carefare, glass- ware, hospital fees and political bribery can be charged against Schedule F which are plainly labelled “ Interest On Corporation Bonds Containing Tax-Free Covenant, On Which Tax of 2% Was Paid By Debtor Corporation"??? May we not suggest that before de- duction (14$ 22¢) falsely claimed by you is knocked off the list you send to us by parcels post signed receipts from Street Railway Corporation to prove carefare, signed receipts from glass- ware company, doctor’s sertifikate and six (6) witnesses to prove bribery? Prompt attention demanded. Please calculate how much you owe us, as we are unable to do so. Please keep this letter, as we might forget we*wrote it For 19 complete minutes, Mr. Editor, stood there looking complete knockout. “T have committed crime!" I holla in- side my boxed up soul. I was obliged to make kick-stroke to him And then one sweet perspiring thought came to me ore and ore. I think of you, Mr. Editor. With your varnished mind you could inform me how much injury I have done to that talented Treasury Dept. Maybe 190000000 similar Americans would like to know that same question I ask it. I shall tell you how it collapsed, so that you shall know when you go to Ohio. On the annual year 1017 one great un- fortune stepped into my life. From my Uncle Zero (dead) I recd. 1500$ as sole hair. Foolishness made me proud. But what then? I must add onto that 1000$ pr. yr. which I obtained from Gen. House- worker. Then come Arthur Kickahajama, edu- cated in American religion and motor- circles. “Togo,” he corrode, “because of wealth you must go to Bank and obtain a Sheet to tax yourself with.” Can that be beaten? Yet I filled myself with duty and went to Hon. Bank where Sheet was. Hon. comicbooks.com