Life, 1920-12-09 · page 17 of 44
Life — December 9, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top illustration shows a formal dinner scene with the caption "Not for Bertie"—a joke about temperance. The host tells his guest he's kept something "special" for him, but the hostess interrupts: "No, No! Bertie never touches a drop," meaning alcohol. This satirizes social pretense around Prohibition (likely early 1920s context, given references to "Volstead" in the text below). The page's main content, "Little Lessons from the Wild," uses animal fables to mock human behavior. The whale represents loudmouths who "spout" without wisdom and face consequences. The goat, despite being useful (butting through obstacles), lost status after Prohibition eliminated the demand for springtime beer. The clam represents the ideal citizen—quiet, peaceful, unintrusive—yet lives joylessly. The final joke about a visiting curate's cook needing rest "to cook" satirizes postwar labor shortages and domestic help scarcity—nine men now needed to "make" a tailor, suggesting economic disruption.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Host (to Quc Little Lessons HE WHALE lives in the ocean blue, and would be seen by very few if he would keep his quiet way and never let himself get gay. But often he sticks up his snout, feeling he’s called spout. The moment that his shows, the cro‘nest bellows, “ !" The seamen tumble overside; upon to spouting har she blows away the racing galleys glide; the stout oars bend; the rullocks smoke; the boat lifts out at every stroke—and flukes thrash up a bloody foam as the relentless barb sinks home. In vain the victim sounds and breaches; the deadly lance his vitals reaches, and that great bulk of power and pride is blubber swashing on the tide. Which teaches us we shouldn't spout, un- less we know just what about; for every blowhard, late or soon, must feel ‘the thrust of the harpoon. four-legged redeeming the see THE GOAT, of all creatures, least possesses SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL, BERT, OLD FELLOW. Mrs. Quaverls NOT FOR BERTIE XO, No, No! from the Wild features; he hurts the eye, offends the The among nose, and adds unto our aural woes. Goat is seen on rubbish dumps; the rusty cans he jumps he chews up tins and shoes and rags and sardine cans and paper bags. He lost his solitary claim to presence in the Hall of Fame when Vol- stead handed us a shock by cutting out our springtime bock. There's just one gift within his nut, and that’s his willing- ness to butt. He'll butt all day, he'll butt all night; he'll butt, and butt with all his might, and all the ice that Caper cuts is due entirely to his butts. Which tells us, if we'd drive a furrow, in some * one thing we must be thorough see O racket’s blamed upon the Cram; no doors this peaceful lad will slam; nor does he rouse the slumbering beach with yell and howl and and screech; nor ever drag his muddy feet kitchen scream across his mother’s neat — how I'VE BEEN KEEPING THIS JUST FOR YOU BERTIE NEVER TOUCHES A DROP. different from some human boys, with all This sn’t talk their fuss and muss and noise! valve nestles in the sand; he de to beat the band; he argues not on poli- tics; for sports he doesn’t care two sticks. A lesson his demeanor bears—that we should mind our own affairs And yet, when all is said and done, the Clam has very little fun: he might have jazzed a little louder before engulfment Whict but may in the chowder. jows that peace is proper, -yes, carried to excess. And Recreation VISITING CURATI Mandy is it necessary for you to leave all these young children at home and go out to cook? “Yes, sir. The doctor says I needs a rest.” N these profiteering days it takes only about nine men to “make” a tailor, comicbooks.com