Life — November 18, 1920 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(Note: International Ailments OHN BULL'S in such a nervous state J The smallest noise upsets him ; ‘And Uncle Sam is just as bad, The least disturbance frets him. Each one is victim of a plague Bad as tuberculosis ; Poor John has got Ulsteria, And Sam has Mexicosis! The Shortest Story in the World The Beautiful Balloon and the Common Pin po! Then and Now The Sunday-School Picnic of the Nineties HE announcement in church. The increase in the Sunday school. The rapturous anticipation. The awakening at sunrise. The carly breakfast. The packing of the chicken sandwiches and the frosted cake. The tedious wait until nine o'clock The running to the church. The final arrival of the hay wagon. The scramble for a seat. The slow, jolting ride. The hot, dusty roads. The restless changing of seats. The kids who fell out. The upsetting of a blueberry pie. The arrival at the woods. The genial superintendent — the anxious teachers, The discarding of shoes and stockings. The wild racing through the woods. The nettles, the briars, the poison ivy. The wading in the small creck. The near-drowning under the willow The call for dinner and mad scramble for place. The place with a tin cup, but no plate, knife, fork or spoon The buttery buns, the deviled eggs, the crumbly bananas. The first cup of weak lemonade from a pail The dented fruit pie. gently messed Rejection Page The contributions on this page have been re, The second cup of lemonade. The sauce dish of butter, the chocolate cake in a large pan, the seedy watermelon The third cup of lemonade. The full feeling. The ride home in the hot afternoon. The mosquitoes, the sunburn, the sto ache, the leg-ache, the nettle rash, poison ivy. The arrival home. The wash at the pump, the cool bed, the rapturous dreams of the picnic next year. nach the The Sunday-School Picnic of 1920 The The The The The The The The announcement on the bulletin board languid interest. late awakening. dollar for gasoline. trip to the delicatessen. thermos bottle cranking of the car. whizzing through space. The instantaneous arrival at the park. The bowling alley, the cigarettes, the Ex- elso, the ice-cream cones, the jazz band, the community song. Dinner. The bored feeling The instantaneous departure. The arrival at home. The evening at the movies. THE UNCONSCIOUS HUMORIST As to This Page Lire has received inquiries as to whether the material in this page has actually been rejected by the editors or not. The anst Yes—with certain quatifications. here is often a difference of opinion among readers as to what constitut joke or as to the value of a idea, A manuscript is often n lacking in literary tech jor it may be amusing and yet have certain defects. It yoes without saying that all this rejected for, and that re is not any measure of ignominy attached to its inclusion some of contributors necessarily ¢ thus honored us. Conceming One Maud NVESTIGATION leads us to surmise What called Maud to the fumed close ; We do not think she wished to botanize, Or trail the fragrance of the blowing rose. den's per ‘Twas in the days of lovers’ plaints and sighs, must beaux ; And so she sought the garden, worldly-wise, Perchance to find Sweet William there— who knows? The Hicost of Enamel WIFE pensive | She have been adored by many and automobile are ex- uries, With b the expense is in the accessories. FAowARD: I was once in love with a girl who had a million golden dollars Jay: you still, “tT don't agree with you. I suppose her bright pile haunts “QO you were in Paris, eh? How did you like the Eiffel tower?” “Gosh! my two feet from the sidewalks.” eyes never rose more than comicbooks.com