Life — October 28, 1920 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

780 FOOLIS CONTEMPO Aue Age Cannot Wither Her Belinda boasts, you must confess, She's always “ changing "—lest you see Her infinite monotony. —London Mail, Ominous “Germany's attitude towards peace is ominous,” said General Laurin Lawson at a luncheon in Louisville. “Germany reminds me, in fact, of the new parlor-maid whose mistress said to her: “©And above all things, I expect you to ma’am, cer said the new maid, Then she leaned towards her mistress with shining eyes. “And what's there to be reticent about, ma'am?’ she asked."—Detroit F course, Conscience Wilson and Wilton were discussing the moralities when the-first put this question: Well, what is conscience, anyhow?” “Conscience,” said Wilton, who prides himself upon being a bit of a pessimist, “is the thing we always believe should bother the other fellow.”"—Toledo Blade. Name ‘‘Bayer”’ identifies genuine Aspirin introduced to physicians in 1900. Insist on unbroken packages AVER-TABLETS ef ASPIRIN Aspiria is the trade mark of Bayer Manutactere of Mosesceticacidester of Salicylicacid A Boston business man has the following schedule of time for interviews hung over his desk: Book agents—three seconds. Unclassified bores—thirty ditto. Golf associates—one hour, jends to make a touch (It takes time to explain why you are broke)—five minutes. People to pay bills—no limit. Employees wanting increase of salary— one minute. My wife—never too busy. Poor relations—always out. —Boston Transcript. The Burden of Proof Professor Alfred Noyes, the English poet, it is known, likes very much to read his works aloud to his friends, and at Princeton, with so many you him, he is usually able to gratify this liking to the full. The other day Professor Noyes said to a junior who had called about an examination: “Wait a minute, Don't go yet. T want to show you the proofs of my new book of poems.” But the junior made for the door frantically. “ No, no,” he said. “LT don't need proofs. Your word is enough for me, professor.”—Argonaut, He'd Seen the Bride “We're giving Baxby a farewell dinner and I'm to respond to the toast, ‘None but the brave deserves the fair.” “Sorry for you, old top. You'll have to prove that Baxby is an utter coward, or that he isn't getting what is his du Nashville Tennessean men under Mistress (to butler): Why is it, Joke, i ome I find you sleepi : I don't like —Le Journal Amusant (Paris). EGYPTIAN , DETTIES | Plain End or Cok Tp People of « culture and nement invariably FER. Deities toany other cigarette. Capital and Labor Sreiker: To settle our differences we will have an arbitrator! Emptover: Good! Who will he be? Staixer: Me!—Pasquino (Turin), Dead Shots First Siupte Nimxop: Hey Your gun isn't loaded. His Partner: Can't help that; the bird won't wait—Mass. Tech. Voo Doo. Beauty Hint “You're looking pale to-night, my dear” “Am 1? Then do tell me something that will give me a little color!” —Sans Géne (Paris). n't shoot, Tuere’s just one thing the Bolshevik ie America can do well—he can dampen the fire under the Melting Pc ~ w York To start the blood a-ti these cool, bracing days Gloriou Greatest FORMERLY KNOWN AS CHECONA EVANS ALE Try it at Clubs, Hotels or Restaurants CASE FROM NEAREST DEALER ©. LL EVANS & SONS Estab, 1796 comicbooks.