Life — October 28, 1920 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Rejection Page (Note: The contributions on this page have been rejected) Cheeriol! OW I sit me down to read A jolly copy of the Lire. It’s just the thing that I need To drive away the storm and strife. How it wallops blues and gloom! And flings my worries far away! Now my sorrows mect their doom, While I read my Live this day. A Reader Never to Hear the Human Voice Or, He'd Be Lonesome There HE TIRED BUSINESS MAN: Gee, I'd like to go on a long vacation where I'd be entirely cut off from the world Syaratneric Frtexp: Why don't you try a telephone booth? Settlement Work OUNDER: I have decided to go into settlement work. Bounper: Isn't this a rather sudden de cision? Rounver: Well, my creditors have been insisting upon it for some time. Beating the H. C. L. HERE was a fair co-ed named Jean. Who aspired to become kitchen queen: She took domestic science, And with every appliance She prepared a whole meal from a bean. Birdie Two RS. WILLIS: What do you mean by running out to the golf woman? Mr. Wittis: I never did. What makes you think so? Mrs. Witus: I heard Mr. Bump telling you that he went around the course with a wren, and you told him that you had a birdie too course with a Some Amended Soliloquies (Note: The soliloquy is in disfavor. Out of four hundred and fifty-nine dramatic of- ferings announced for the 1920-21 season on Broadway, not one Shakespearean revival is mentioned, The managers blame it on the soliloquy. They say there is no more mar- ket for this once popular commodity. If we are to have our Shakespeare, something must be done to the soliloquy. ‘For the benefit of those who advocate modernizing it, the following suggestions are offered.) Hamlet ‘© be or not to be; some question, I'll say, Why, it’s got the League of Nations beaten forty ways. What's the answer? Search me. My name's Hamlet, not Ouija But take it from me, when a guy’s got a Conscience it's nix on the hari-kari stuf. Safety first—that's me all over. Mac ht Is this a dagger which I see before me? A dagger? Aw, come off. Why, this here Duncan's A tough bird. Bring me a .48-calibre gattler And I'll knock him for « goal. A dagger! Can you beat it? Lady Macbeth damned spot! Out, I say! For the love of Mike, what's a matter with you? Can't you hear? 1 said out. O-U-T—OUT Now, do you get me? Beat it! Claudius, King of Denmark Oh, my rank; it heaven. However, my lawyers t der paragraph 4, Section 663 of the Pen. Code, I stand a good chance of gettin with pothing worse than ; su: Oh, you Nassau County! offense is smells. me, us ended sen tence. Romeo Ob, that I were a glove upon tha Say, take it from me, I'd be the Form-fit kid, and don’t you forget it Ah, there, Juliet, girlie! I'm crazy about you. Yea, bo! GOOD many of us, while not sympa thizing with the Bolshevists, are woo dering, deep in our hearts, if the civilizar of some parts of western contending for. Inventory HAT is the poet's ctock-in-trade? Items Lost moonlight and a broker gone love, a withered rose. heart Yet sings he of some fair, sweet maid: And aye about the bud that blows, And of young Love and of love's smart— Although he knows the flower will fade; That love cold grows full well he knows: He knows—yet sings—for that is An When the Help Fails to Come R. SUBURB: My dear, you scem to be provoked Mus. Sununu: 1 The wast erwoman has just telephoned that she a to-day because ber clothes have not beer delivered from the indeed. not come andry. A Joke? TRUE A honest to steal, too prov! to beg; so he gets trusted ONEY summoned by a campaiga investigating c American 1$ to comicbooks. Soom