Life, 1920-10-07 · page 33 of 56
Life — October 7, 1920 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous article mocking the incompetence of furniture movers during an apparent shortage. Titled "Training the Moving-Vanguard," it presents fake "courses" for amateur movers, each satirizing real problems: "Chipping and Jamming" ridicules damage to furniture, "Gummy-Sacking" mocks poor wrapping, "Marching" jokes about heavy-footed stairs-climbing, and "Ceiling-Work" lampoons plaster damage. Other courses mock movers' behavior—sullen "Under-Tones," demands for tips ("Insinuation"), long lunch breaks, and excessive chatting. The accompanying cartoons are lighter fare: one shows a dog wagging its tail, the other a household servant problem (a valet seeking his own valet). The "Pittsburg" joke at bottom puns on industrial soot. The satire targets working-class moving companies' notorious reputation for damage and poor service—a longstanding source of middle-class complaint.
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Training the Moving-Vanguard [ is reported that there is to be an ap- palling shortage of moving-vans, and this at the zenith of the moving-van sea- son. This will necessitate strike-breaking methods and the employment of amateur moving-men. All those loyal citizens wishing to prepare themselves to take the place of the delinquent movers will re- port at the nearest armory and enlist in the following training courses in subjects hitherto deemed essential to a successful transportation of furniture from flat to van and vice versa. Chipping and Jamming, ta—Includes the carrying of delicate pieces of furniture through doors in such a manner as to chip off pieces from all four corners, and jamming heavy pieces against projecting masonry or, if possible, against other fur- . niture. Guuny-Sacking, 2c —The wrapping of furniture with light upholstery in very dirty gunny-sack, covering all portions except the polished woodwork. Marching—This course is an elementary one,and includes the rhythmic tramping up and down stairs in single file, breathing heavily and, when possible, alcoholically. Ceiling-WWork—Large articles are car- ried up and down stairs on the shoulders, care being taken to gouge out plaster from the overhanging portion of the ceil- ing. Under-Tones, 2b—The use of under- tone conversation, one to another, de- signed to give the owner the impression that his furniture is being made the sub- ject of unfavorable comment. As a sub- sidiary course to this one, Profanity, 3a, is offered, including short and pungent oaths, analytical blasphemy, and the the- ory and practice of indiscriminate curs- ing. Crating —For packers only. In_ this THE WATCH DOG WATCH HIS TAIL. AT THE APPROACH OF ANY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY IT WILL WAG “CAN'T YOU GET YOUR OWN VALET BACK?” “ HEAVENS, NO! HE SAID HE WAS LOOKING FOR ONE HIMSELF.” course the candidate is taught to crate furniture so that it will be impossible to uncrate it without breaking it up into its component parts. Insinuation (Gentle and Heavy)—By means of which the mover makes it known that the time has come for a dispensation of largess, the largess the better. Lunching—Covering the art of making the lunch-hour last an hour and three-quarters. Candidates taking this course should previously have taken Conversation, B—Which covers all classes of dilatory conversa- tion, including personal badinage, light wrestling and pushing, and two-part humming. R.C.B. Pittsburg? OW do you keep in such good physical condition, old man?” “Lots of exercise. I personally brush all the soot from my coat, waistcoat, overcoat, collars and trousers every morning.” comicbooks.com