Life — September 30, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wild Life in America 1—The lresidential Bee HI dentiac, United States end Ohio, acteristics are a continuous buzz and an hite Democrats and Republicans without show- ill effects. Congress much to psy Moth, Locust Presidential Bee or .Ipidae Uraesi- is found in all parts of the Its chief char- ability to unlimited numbers of ing any While has done put the ( Seven-Year and Jersey Mosqui- to under some form control, it’ seems utterly powerless to with the problem of the Presidential Bee. Under the Consti- tution, the Bee is forbidden anyone under thirty- five age, but so long as it observes this simple of Federal cope to attack years of rule, it has the run of the reservation. Fortunately, the bite of the Presi- dential Bee, though frequently | causing much suffering, is seldom fatal. Vie- tims, when laid end to end, would reach from here to Wash- ington, D. C., but that is said to be the only way most of them could ever ex- get there. . Statisticians assert pect to there pitiful figures. Some are no more have heen known to linger for months, even years, to the utter despair of the medical fra- ternity. A case is reported in Lincoln, Neb., where the vic- on Old Neighbor you tim has tried every Hed nh pinet known remedy, even the sc Cure, without success. i a sufferer for years, and is believed he- yond hope of recovery. Oddly enough, the Presidential Bee has never been known to attack the female of the species. Its victims have alwa numbered among the male or son contingent. One of the more recent s been avorite- “LIFE. amendments to the Constitution, however, is expected to relieve this situation, as it the Presidenqal the privileges in the presence of ladies as it grants Bee same has so long enjoyed among the men During the biting season, which occurs every four years, outbreaks of the Presi- dential Bee may be expected anywhere. No one is ever quite safe, even in jail, BLESS MY souL! IF THIS ISN'T LITTLE WILLIE HOLMES! IN A MINUTE—YOU LOOK MORE Much, however, can be done to protect the public hy segreg: This year all fully developed cases of ‘Presidential Bec ion hite are being confined in Ohio for ob servation. But this is only temporary recovered hy transferred to Any case not completely will be the Election night Washington, where finally kept. incurables Foster Ware are LIKE YOUR MOTHER EVERY DAY Bedtime Stories ALILEO was informed that a detegae tion of prominent citi Waited without. Hastily buttoning o his collar, he ambled dignifiedly into the bandstand on his front porch and rested his solar. plexus on the rail. * Gentlemen, fellow citizens and {rier he began, but was interrupte ly a coarse fel crowd in the forced S oration and to bring | said the voice, a joke out of us by saying raucous “have mac the earth gocs round the sun. We want a return to nor- We want a retraction” swered the philoso: pher. “Well, tum to our readjustment of the solar system and proceed deliber- ately and reflective- ly to that hoped-for world relation which both conscience and aspiration and still hold us from menacing ments. Approach the nations of Europe and the earth, pro- posing that standing makes us a_ willing participant in the consecration of na- male an- shall satisfy free involve- under- which tions to a new rela- tionship, to commit the moral forces of the Mexico included, to peaceand international justice, still leaving Andorra and Monte Carlo free, indepen and. self-reliant. “ Herbert,” he added in an undertone to his secretary during the twenty-nine min- utes of cheering which pontaneously burst forth, “telephone Will Hays to be world, "bp KNOW more careful whom he sends on here.” George Martin HETHER circumstances make one bit- ter or better depends entirely upon the J, comicbooks.