Life — September 16, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LOCAL GOSSIP Lem Stoddard wuz a-fis down in Sandy Crick, an’ he hooked a little trout and gut him aboard just he shook the hook out. There wuz consid’bul water in the boat, so he swum round, and when Lem went home he took him alive in the bailin’ tin. Lem sez he heard that if you put a live fish in the well it keeps water pure; so he dumped the fish into the bucket an lowered him down the well, As soon as he told Missus what he'd done, then the fat = in the She wa'n't goin’ to drink no fishy water, nor cook w neither, and he could jest start right in and fish hi: out o’ there. And so on, jabberin’ and jawin’! She's been as sweet tempered as a ring-tailed catamount ever e Lem lost his job, and she let out good. So Lem got his fish pole, and baited up, and lowered it dow th’ well, and he’s been a-settin’ there most ever since. She relieves the monot’ny by addressin’ a few remarks to him from time to time. Lem sez he ain't half as much expectin’ the trout will bite as he’s afeered that she will Hizzoner AYOR JOHN F. HYLAN, known widely and someti favorably to the New York City electorate as “ Hizzoner.’ recently told the members of the Board of Estimate that * tects, professional men, and the like of that, cause us a deal of trouble” when plans for the city’s buildings are discussed, . Hurrah for Hizzoner; he has the right idea! Let us not permit any nosey architects to monkey with the architectural activities in this mammoth and magnifi tropolis. Let us not permit artists to paint our pictures. Let us not permit lawyers to conduct our legal affairs. Let us not permit Henry Ford to build our flivvers. Let us not permit street cleaners to clean our streets. Let Hizzoner do it! Let us see that Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, the United States of America and the world at large are conducted under the omnipotent supervision of John F. Hylan, the Board of Estimate—and the like of that. R, UR boys in France used to say, “We are good soldiers be- cause we are not soldiers.” Here’s hoping that they show IF THE PEST WHO IS ALWAYS BORROWING BOOKS SHOULD BRING us next November that they are good politicians because they THEM ALI. BACK AT ONCE are not politicians! comicbooks. em