Life, 1920-08-19 · page 28 of 40
Life — August 19, 1920 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine presents satirical humor through two main pieces: **"What Is Not Going On To-morrow"** is a list of absurdist predictions presented as impossible events—things that will definitely *not* happen. The joke relies on contemporary frustrations: shirts losing pins at laundry, taxicabs never apologizing, theater curtains never rising on time, and barbers always upselling services. One entry references President Woodrow Wilson, Colonel George Harvey, and Senator Henry Cabot Lodge, likely mocking political realignment rumors circa 1920. **The cartoons** include a sketch of figures in a runaway cart ("Lemme off!"), depicting comedic peril, and a separate illustration captioned with "Beau Brummell" lamenting he "couldn't keep up my reputation to-day"—referencing the historical dandy famous for sartorial perfection, now unable to maintain standards (possibly commenting on post-WWI social decay or fashion changes). The satire targets everyday American annoyances and social pretensions through gentle, observational humor typical of *Life*'s editorial voice.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LIFE. 1n:t1 A, M.—Shirt will be returned from laundry, and will prove to be entirely devoid of pins. 238A. M.—Popular Parisian actress, arriving on ocean liner, will refuse insistent demands of reporters that she for her picture. 00 Noon—Excursion train will reach its destination on sched- ule time. p. M.—Stout married lady will be winked at by masher on the street, and will feel genuinely incensed at his audacity 213 Pp. M.—Cartoonist will draw a picture of a Bolshevik who has neither whiskers nor a round, spluttering bom) :00 P, M—Prominent theatrical manager will announce that the chorus of his forthcoming musical revue will be com- posed entircly of ladies over forty years of age. :$9 P. M—Man will buy automobile, and will be told that it is ready for delivery whenever he wants it. 3190p, M.—Visitor to New York will walk five blocks without finding a place where he can secure a drink. 215 P. M.—Theatre curtain will rise on time, as announced in all advertisements. 2:1gA. M.—Old gentleman will be awakened from sound slum- ber by telephone bell and, upon learning that it is the wrong number, will say, “Oh, pshaw!” T is a sad thought that after a man has been roasted by his critics and grilled by misfortune all through his life, the first words he hears when he gets to heaven are, “ Well done, thou good and faithful servant.” “LEMME OFF! LEMME OFF!” “AW, WE'RE ONLY GOIN’ AS FAR AS THIS ROCK!” What Is Not Going On To-morrow Events of the Day, Listed in the Order in Which They Will Not Occur 8:14. M.—Man will eat grapefruit without squinting. 9:00 A, M.—President Woodrow Wilson will announce that he intends to support a new political party with Colonel George Harvey and Senator Henry Cabot Lodge at the head of the ticket. 9:21.4.M.—Barber will shave customer as directed and will neglect to suggest a haircut, shampoo, shine, manicure, singe, massage or scalp treatment. 10:00 A, M.—Leading song publisher will be overheard to re- mark that he would rather own the copyright to Bee- thoven’s “Ninth Symphony” than “Was There Ever a Pal Like You?” 10:29 A, M.—Taxicab will collide with truck, and the drivers of both vehicles will apologize to cach other for their care- Beau Brummell: ye covs! 1 COULDN'T KEEP UP MY KEPUTATION lessness. to-vay! comicbooks