Life — August 19, 1920 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AAs 7 Gt te w te AK Ue “ NOW, DON'T GO TAKIN’ ME FINGER oFF!” Thoughts in a Hencoop The Rooster | LOVE to watch a rooster crow— He's like so many men I know, Who brag and bluster, ramp and shout, And beat their manly chests without The first dam’ thing to crow about. A Misnomer Since I've observed the ways of hens indulging in their dict, The most complete embodiment of anarchy and riot, A very mob of selfishness, and enemics of quiet, I think if I'd been Adam, as I watched ‘em at their pickin’s, I'd never do as he did, and denominate them “ chickens,” But dub them what they truly are, plain, simple Bolshevik Love Song to a Plymouth Rock Don’t worry, Henny-Penny; I will be your friend for aye. I'll be your Lord Protector in the night and in the day I'll hold you safe from weasels. I will shield you from the cat I'll do my best to ward you from your enemy, the rat. T'll nourish you, and cherish. I will let no chances slip To cure you when you suffer from the devastating pip. I'll be your watchful servant. I'll supply your need of food Until you reach the fulness of a perfect broilerhood. And then I will invite you, little feathered friend of mine, Unto my family table some soft evening when we dine, Where enthroned in highest honor, on a platter fair to see, I will take you to the inmost inner part of Inner Me. JK. B. FE. Are Virtues Really Lovable? HERE is a popular belief that we love our relatives and friends because of their virtues; but will it wash? On the contrary, isn’t somebody's pet virtue always taking the of life? “Your Uncle James is so punctual, so dependable!” people congratulate the relatives who board Uncle James, eas: souls whose clocks are never right and whose meals are ¢ ble feasts. As a matter of fact, Uncle's punctuality gives the family nervous prostration, and when he comes promptly to luncheon every day at one, his faith unshaken by experience, and, like Mary’s lamb, waits patiently about, the tension in the kitchenette sometimes reaches danger point “Why can't girls tell the truth, instead of slicking things over with polite little fibs?” young Richard demands, in tones of injured sincerity. But let sister’s pretty caller answer his conventional inquiry with the candid admission that she doesn’t like cigar smoke, and where is County G painfully jarred, to finish his smoke and to incite other truth- loving youths to shun the fibless fair. And doesn’t father love it when mother confesses that she will be lonely without him all the evening, and suggests that he might stay and put the boys to bed while she finishes the dishes? What a splendid house- keeper is Aunt Martha, and how she irritates her family! Where is yesterday's paper, with the article that John wanted to save? Already tied up trimly in the bundle for the ra Gone outside, wee enlists “JUST BACK FROM EUROPE? POINTS OF INTER! “YOU BET I DID, AND I KEPT A FLASK IN MY ROOM Too.” YOU VISITED ALL THE comicbooks. Tate ATI, Bie amma 6 sg ot Dont 1 TLL Se BNW, 7 ARAN re, nee