Life — May 6, 1920 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“My heart was ever true to you” Duo Appassionato Herberta Hooverina and Eli Ele- phantus L'Hoovertna: “A ALY heart was ever true to you (Though this, perhaps, is new to you). The explanation’s due to you That when, to foreign shores, I shipped that Sugar, milled for you, My breast with anguish thrilled for you. A Platform let me build for you Whom all my soul adores! Eu Evernantus: “Though much I've heard in praise of you, I've hardly grasped the ways of you; I'll speak to Will H. Hays of you. But would you, Fair Unknown, When Democrats are courting you And Socialists exhorting you, Remember Who's Supporting You?— Oh, are you Mine Alone?” Bott (Alternamente) : H.: “Fear not; be mine! you!” E.: “Not yet—I lack a clue to you.” I sue to H.: “I'll ever stick like glue to you, Complaisant, meek and kind.” “My Past may look 3 “No kitten shall say ‘Mew’ to you!” “Tl introduce the crew to you— But hardly know my mind.” Arthur Guiterman, Punching Up the Colleges D* PRITCHETT, of the Carnegie Foundation, critic of colleges and censor of their importunities, has made some timely and searching remarks about their current drive for new dowment. Between them all they are out to get about six hundred million dollars, These new dollars are needed for the most part to provide for in- creased salaries to teachers, Dr. Pritch- ett considers that before appealing to the public for new funds on an enor- mous scale, the colleges should make report of the results of the expend- iture of the money they have had in the last twenty-five years. He thinks some of them have spent a lot of it on imitation research which was no good, a lot more in vain efforts to teach everything in order to get more students, thereby increasing the number of teachers and leveling doy salaries. He thinks they employ many teachers who cannot teach. The colleges are the most popular and respected fetish we have lc “Doubtless they are faulty with m of the faults that grow in the mind of man, Doubtless they are greed selfish, stupid, self-conceited, and many other adjectives may be appli to them as one, may use withou committing a libel. There is just one reason—one reason—why they survive, andy money and flourish. Imperfect the: c, they are as good, prot bly, as the civilization they cat and sleep in can produce at prese Their faults are hke the faults of our other institutions, our gover ments, our churches and the rest. They are the faults of the great machine we operate and live in, and are due to tl defects in its attitude towards life, As civilization improves, they improve, but, ci tion will improv first. The improvement will be spiritual and will invade the colleges from thy outside and take what they can giv and use it, Possibly Dr, Pritchett knows that but if he does, he knows more in that line than his honored Founder ever did. But at least he knows about mental training and technical training and at least he must know that all wis dom will not die with the colleges nor be proportionately increased by the augmentation of their endowments. So he is a useful censor of colleges Information Wanted AYBE the ouija boards or son other source of supernormal in formation can give some points about the one-hundred-per-cent. American what manner of creature he is; wher it is safe to be with him in the darh whether he ought to be allowed to ¢ unattended in public. There is much curiosity about him and both oral and written discussio of his characteristics. A good liv specimen exhibited in a Broadway shop window would draw crowds. E stuffed specimen would get attentior Apparently he is what “man never i but always to be,” but Ouija might know. a\\\\ If comicbooks.com