Life — April 29, 1920 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Theatre Program Reviewed il D” may or may not be at the Fuiton Theatre when this appears. It was announced a day or two after its opening that the producer was sailing for England shortly to arrange for its production there. This an- nouncement usually means much the same thing as the announcement of a defeated po- litical candidate who states that he is about to demand a recount, or that of a suspected assemblyman who gives it out that he will insist on a thorough investigation of the charges made against him. Whether or not “ The Bonehead" is still running matters very little, however, in the sweep of the world’s affairs. Probably nothing could matter less. No one should have been deceived in “ The Bonehead.” It was clear from the start that it was going to be about Green- wich Village, free love and free verse; so you knew right away that it was going to be dull. A burlesque cannot be burlesqued. This much having been decided during the first ten minutes, there remained nothing else to do but to look at the program And, as a review of “ The Bonchead” would be of practically no historic or documentary value (and as it was the sole offering of that notable week), the program is really all there is to talk about. COCO SOOO A D a most fascinating program it was, too. Did you know, for instance, that London is leaning toward the shorter garments, the blunter lapels, the natural sleeve-head which is neither square nor puffed, the skirt which drapes and ripples but does not flare? No, I thought not. And how do you ever expect to know things like that if, when you go to the theatre, you pay all of your attention to the acting? Had “ The Bonehead” been a different sort of play, I might never have had it brought home to me that I could get a knitted waistcoat ‘for golf which, because of its being a five- buttoned affair with a waist-seam and two lower flapped pockets, is snug and yet, at the same time, so elastic withal that it will follow my every posture like my shadow. (At this point I was interrupted by someone on the stage making a joke about Flatbush. I counted four more Flatbush jokes at intervals when I was turning the pages of the pro- gram. I have no idea how many more I missed.) But to return to our review. A certain racy international flavor is given to the program by the insertion of French phrases in an advertisement. The following appeal, for instance, is delicate and yet irresistible: “Madame, Mademoiselle, le secret de votre beauté et de vétre grace , n'est-il pas l'usage de ma poudre?” Then, in order that no one may go wrong and read some- thing into the French which is not there, a literal translation into clear and idiomatic English is furnished directly beneath, and what is our surprise to learn that all that it means is this: “ Translatio Madame, Mademoiselle, the secret of your beauty and charm, is it not my face-powder?” “LIFE~ Surely a fair enough question and deserving of a fair an- swer. And surely two minutes well spent reading the native language of Voltaire (and of Victor Hugo too, for that m: ter). One feels refreshed, as on returning from a stroll in the Bois . The annoyance is therefore doubly poignant at this juncture to hear Mr. Nicander, who is playing the title role in “The Bonehead,” pronouncing “ Epicurean” with the accent on the “cure.” He is telling someone in a loud voice that he is an Epicurean. Someone ought to speak to him about that. At any rate, he ought to use a lower voice. How do they expect anyone in the audience to read if the people on the stage are going to run about talking stridently and mispronouncing wi TP ba DISCUSSION of economics follows on the next page. I here learn that, although it is commonly believed that high quality means high prices, such is not the case in buying flowers at our shop. No, indeed. Our flowers (believe it or not) are the finest, most beautiful and longest lasting, AND are most moderately priced. Thus, in so many words, is an- other popular superstition demolished, although I personally have never been under any particular delusion that high prices had anything to do with high quality. Isn't that a rather old-fashioned idea? (That sounds like John Daly Murphy’s voice on the stage. John Daly Murphy here, and in a part like this! My, my! It only goes to show that you never can tell.) The theatre management announces reassuringly at the top of the page that it takes only three minutes to empty the house “under normal conditions with every seat occupied.” It seems a bit optimistic to speak of every seat being occu- pied at the Fulton as representing normal conditions. But, of course, that is none of my business. And I can say this “DID GOD MARE THAT ANIMAL, PAPA?" “YES, OF COURSE.” “nuMpu! 1 GUESS HE WASN'T TRYING.” comicbooks.com