Life — April 22, 1920 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“THERE'S JACK SPENDER} HEARD HE’s STRUCK A GUSHER.” “ou wei?” “No, DEBUTANTE.” Dum Pes Circular upon Request ALL DUNHILL PIPES BEAR THE ROUND WHITE DOT AND ARE STAMPED NH on, tonpo! M.M. Importing Co. 6 East 45th St. N.Y. SOLE AGENTS IN THE U.S. ma WISE ciety is composed of those who woman has said that Se belon, those who can amuse and entertain, and those who are willing and able to spend money, The last- named class is the most numerous aj important of the three, and you who would climb to the icy heights on whieh fashion sits enthroned must first 7 plenty of scrip—tainted or untainte it matters not which—in your purse. About the foothills of the ascent you will encounter guides who will offer to lubricate your path with the oil of publ that is supposed by many to facilitate climbing. Beware of these, for it helps you only with those who do not “ belong.” A little further up you will find yourself in the dark forest where lurk the ticket-sellers who will demand a toll commensurate with your purse. It will be well for you to stard and de- liver, for these advance agents of charity can materially affect your prog ress by spreading tidings of your thrift Now you will begin to pass deep crevasses at the bottom of which lie the whitening bones of many tightwads and of the few who have perished miserably after giving splendid) mask halls in New York You will pass many nights in the huts provided for travelers, in the shape of those summer and winter re sorts where fashion, ima mad hunt for diversion, is wont to unbend_ itself They are cheerful resting places, and you must enjoy them while you may, for gloom is at hand in the sombre form of the Charity Ball, often mis- taken by ordinary folk for the loftiest social peak. lf you feel the chill winds of con tempt and aversion sweeping down upon you from the heights, take refuge for a season in a Newport cottage, where you will have unexampled facili- ties for proving that you are a good spender. If your step falters, cluteh one of the ropes held out by some- hody’s favorite charity, or. if possible, lock arms with a British peer whose name appears in Debrett. Fight: shy of all other titles. By this time you will have learned to discard such excess baggage as a Pittsburgh accent and a horde of un- desirable friends and relatives. Do not feel jealous if those who are journeying upwards on the wings of entertainments pass you in their flight VETER J. CAREY, PRINTER 1900. Insist on unbroken packages BAVER-TABLEI Ff ASPIRIN Aspitia ts the trade mark of Mayer Manctictore of ff of Saticy or meet a more cordial reception than your money can buy. Having gained the heights, you will wonder why you took so much trouble to get there. Console yourself with the thought that you have done some- thing for your children. James 1 Perplexed WO corpulent old gentlemen on the green with putters in their hands and their golf balls a few feet from the cup. One of them is scratching his head in a perplexed fashion. “ Jones, supposing I did put this in! Who in Mazes is going to get it out?” PURITY CROSS it! ian esl ccs ‘than plain m MADE BY A MASTER CHEF LNA Handy Tins-<l Quality Stores "The Daily Menu Maker comicbooks.com