Life — April 15, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE- Volapuk HE city man took off his coat and his hat And sank in his old swivel chair wished on the buzzer, and promptly at that nl his stenographer ther bok out her notebook. disposed of her gum And wait ake every word And then she was striken te tally numb When these were the sounds that she heard: “ Dimalite capsicum erex coca cola musterole domino taps pianola hunyadi ricore acousticon crisco sealpackerchief formamint skookum nabisco!” The frightened stenog gave a terrible shriek At the gleam in the city man’s eye. She knew by his looks and his language uniqie His brain had gone wholly awry; The doctor was summoned, but seemed at a loss, Then sadly he waggled his head For when he attempted to question the boss That worthy repeatedly said “Uneeda cortina congoleum rit tuxedo 200 bon ami sonora eleaya sapolio brit usola bel ans b. v. do” They too! e boss home where is grief-stricken wife BECAUSE OF THE PROHIBITIVE PRICE OF EASTER HEADGEAR, They ‘took the f Romie sibire is: geietoatess . THE BROWNS DECIDED TO UTILIZE SOME OF THE TROPHIFS Remarked, “ As | feared, he's insane. SERGEANT BROWN BROUGHT BACK WITH HIM He’s ridden on trolleys so much of his life The ads have affected his brain. 7 But maybe there's hope; I will try to awake Narrow-Mindedness? The spark that has flickered and died Two Baptist women of our acquaintance have gone Oh, speak to me, Alfred; speak sense for my sake! into another denomination. It is a mystery to us that But all that he ever replied people can shift so easily from one denomination to another.—IWatchman-Examiner, Was: “ zozodont sunkist mazola HY shouldn't they if they want to? Isn't most of the pyrex bulgarzoon grafonola trouble caused because they don’t? Our friend seems vietre I . ur o le eee . » have missed something tha seen. WOT GH Fes els naptha pineoleum teco! to have missed something that has been going on recently Sierion ivcler The Senator: ArtTeR YOU HAVE FINISHED WITH THE THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPEN UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION, WHAT WILL YOU TACKLE NEXT? Hubby: 1 THINK 1 LIKE THIS ONE BEST, DARLING, The Reformer: MY DEAR SIR, WE SHALL NEXT AMEND Wifey: NOW, WEAKEST, DON'T HE EXTRAVAGANT; THIS ONE THE DECALOGUE, WE FIND IT VERY LAX IN SPOTS. Ip ITE COOD ENOUGHEL comicbooks.com