Life — March 4, 1920 — page 64: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

426 URL FOOLISH EGYPTIAN | : he Utmost in Qon Not to be Beaten ; 5 . . Plain End or Gorhq An Alabaina darky, who prided himseli on being able to play any tune on the banjo after he had heard it once, perched x Peo himself on the side of a hill one Sunday é ple of culture morning and began to pick the strings in a workmanlike manner, It chanced that the minister came along. Going up to Moses, he demanded harshly, “ Moses. do you know the Ten j ( q PREFER D Commandments?’ refinement invar; Moses scratched his chin for a mo at; and then; in anvequally; harsh votes : 9 to any other ciga arson, yo’ don’t think yo" kin beat 2 A me, do yo"? Jest yo’ whistle the firs ) three or four bars, an’ I'll have a try at it.”"—Harper's / Sense of Humor Mokers of the Highest Grade Torkish “Has your wife a sense of humor?” and Epjptan Cartes inthe id “Yes,” replied Mr. Growcher, fa = = - == a kind. She thinks that everybody who doesn’t wear the absurd fashions While Time Flies she docs is immensely funny.” —IVeshington Stor. Mother was very keen on correct de portment, and never lost a chance of instilling it into Mabel. . The Real Need “There’s one important thing, my _It is the duty of every parent to teach dear,” she said. “You must never point his children to be frivolous, if possible. at anything.” Life will attend to their education in “But, juaniiwa” ‘objected. abe ‘gtd seriousness.—New York Evening Sun “ suppose I am shopping, and don’t know . . the name of a thing?” Tiere have been occasions in history “Thea let the assisiant atiow you when diplomatists have devoutly prayed eenpibtig IA stock Ainitl he comes'to the that they might not get what they asked. article you desire.” —New York World. —St Augustine Record. Never Done One of the Nantucket stories is about Maria Mitchell, a native who became a great astronomer. This famous woman Little Girl: uxcte Jou was once told by a man that he did not PLEASE SNEEZE PER SAMMY B think a woman was fitted for the irregu- WAKT TO PROVE IT SOUNDS “XACT lar hours which the night work in as- HIG\ MEW HORS tronomy necessitated. “Sir,” Miss Mitchell replied, “ my mother had. more night work than as tronomy will ever demand of any woman ; Important as she brought up cight children.” umbrellas in March —Christian Register. Because Piso’s wards of . . ill eGects of cold, rainy A Kindly Light weather. For 55 yearsithas The clergyman of a poor parish was ended distressing couchs showing a rich lady round, hoping to and eased inflamed, irritated throats, touch her heart and so receive a big hoarseness and throat tickling. Keep it cheque for his people. in the medicine cabinet ready for im- “We are now passing through the mediate use at the very first symptoms, poorest slums,” he said, as the car turned 30¢ at your druggist’s. Contains no into a side street. “ These people have { SF omelike~ opiate. Good for young and old f little to brighten their lives.” but still in the “IT must do something for them,” Y sighed the lady, adding to the chauffeur: heart of things “James, drive the car slowly, and turn on the big lamps."—Tit-Bits. ive Hoover a chance. jon’t damn THE BILTMOR J for Cou ohs & Colds tis by ire him = “ ‘aeal™ Pda : NEW YORK _j —Wall Street Journal. ! | comicbooks.com