Life — March 4, 1920 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NTEM MPOR ARIES cons Not to be Beaten An Alabama darky, who prided himself on being able to play any tune on the banjo after he had heard it once, perched himself on the side of a hill one Sunday morning and began to pick the strings in a workman-like manner. It chanced that the minister came along. Going up to Moses, he demanded harshly, “Moses, do you know the Ten Commandments?” Moses scratched his chin for a mo- ment, and then, in an equally harsh voice, said: “Parson, yo’ don't think yo’ kin beat me, do yo’? Jest yo’ whistle the first three or four bars, an’ I'll have a try at it."—Harper’s. Sense of Humor “Has your wife a sense of humor?” “Yes,” replied Mr. Growcher, “of a kind. She thinks that everybody who doesn’t wear the same absurd fashions she does is immensely funny.” —Washington Star. The Real Need It is the duty of every parent to teach his children to be frivolous, if possible. Life will attend to their education in seriousness—New York Evening Sun. Tuer have been occasions in history when diplomatists have devoutly prayed that they might not get what they asked. —New York World. EGYPTIAN 1 Utmost in Qgarettes Plain End or Cork Tip People of culture and refinement invariably PREFER ‘Deities to any other cigarette Important as umbrellasin March Because Piso’s wards off ill effects of cold, rainy weather, For 55 yearsithas ended distressing coughs f and eased inflamed, irritated throats, hoarseness and throat tickling. Keep it in the medicine cabinet ready for im- mediate use at the very first symptoms. 30¢ at your druggist's. Contains no opiate, Good for young and old While Time Flies Mother was very keen on correct de- portment, and never lost a chance of instilling it into Mabel. “There's one important thing, my dear,” she said. “You must never point at anything.” “But, mamma,” objected the girl, “ suppose I am shopping, and don’t know the name of a thing?” “Then let the assistant show you everything in stock until he comes to the article you desire.” —St, Augustine Record. Never Done One of the Nantucket stories is about Maria Mitchell, a native who became a great astronomer. This famous woman was once told by a man that he did not think a woman was fitted for the irregu- lar hours which the night work in as- tronomy necessitated. “Sir,” Miss Mitchell replied, “my mother had more night work than as- tronomy will ever demand of any woman ; she brought up eight children.” —Christian Register. A Kindly Light The clergyman of a poor parish was showing a rich lady round, hoping to touch her heart and so receive a big cheque for his people. “We are now passing through the poorest slums,” he said, as the car turned into a side street. “These people have little to brighten their lives.” “I must do something for them,” sighed the lady, adding to the chauffeur: “James, drive the car slowly, and turn on the big lamps.”"—Tit-Bits. Give Hoover a chance. Don't damn him by calling him an “ ideal" President. —Wall Street Journal. Little Girl NCLE JOHN, WILL YE PLEASE SNEEZE FER SAMMY BROWN? I WANT TO PROVE IT SOUNDS 'XACTLY LIKE MIS NEW HORN. omelike~ but still in the heart of things THE BILTMORE \ NEW YORK comicbooks.com