Life — March 4, 1920 — page 40: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

in adv 3 AUT SCISSORS ==) Aut NULLUS An Alter-War Bride A returned soldier and his sweetheart called on a judge to marry thew. The judge married them, and, apparently sfied with his work, he said to Vi alute the bride.” For an instant the groom was flustered. Then he took two steps to the rear, came to a distinct halt, clicked his heels together and gave Mrs, Vic one of the “ doughboys’ finest.” “Oh, well, I guess that will have to do,” sighed the judge as he signed the license. —Argonaut. Had a Grievance “T shall complain to the floorwalker about you,"” said’ the irate shopper. “T have no doubt he will agree with everything you say,” answered the sales- lady, wearily. “Ah! Then he is acquainted with your shortcoming: “GOODNESS, MOTHER, THAT'LL DE A HANDY DRESS Frowns of Fortune Tt was in the Argonne, A regiment ot negro pioneers from Dixie who had been inducted into the service had just re- ceived a batch of mail. But neither Jef- ferson Madison Monroe nor his particu- jar side kick, Washington Jones, was manifesting any great elation. In fact they both looked decidedly in the dumps. “Wash,” mourned Jefferson, “I’se the hard luckin’est nigger what was ever. I done just got a letter from mah gal, and she's gone and went and married an other.” “ Oh, man, man!" wailed Wash. “ You don’t know what hard luck am. Me, I just got a letter from the draf’ board what says I'm exempt!” —Home Sector. The New Poor “Good morning, madam, I deal in cast-off clothing.” “Ob, how lucky! Do you think you have anything that would suit my hus- band? "—Punch. A man’s character is sometimes read “He thinks he is. He's my husband.” WHEN YOUR BACK ITcCHES!” in his wife's face. ~Birmingham Age-Herald. —Florence (Mass.) Bulletin. pul every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U. S. Patent Office. $5.00 a year nce, Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year; ingle current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months n, 25 cents, Issues prior to 1910 out of print. hted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain , Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. smokes, butt Life Savers do chase that tobacco-ey taste and leave your breath sweet as a May morn. Never start to smoke without a packet in your pocket |. The foreign trade supplied from Lure’s London Office, Rolls Hou ings, London, E. C, Canadian distributor, J, R. Tanguay, 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, Canada. No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire docs not hold itself responsible for the loss or nonireturn of unso licited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this ofice ten days prior to the date of issue to be offected. SELES A SEALIES SD AA A Sf ff > LIFE SAVER THE CANDY MINT WITH THE HOLE PEP.O.MINT WINT.O.GREEN cL owe CIN-O-MON comicbooks.com