Life — March 4, 1920 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

404 What We May Come To R. RANDOLPH BLITH- EREDGE gazed severely at his wife over the tops of his glasses. “My dear,” said he solemnly, “we are neglect- ing out duties in a very serious manner. It has been over a month since we had the Glas- pells in to play auction. We must have them in this week.” Mrs. Blitheredge shook her head sadly. s is a very hard week, Randolph,” she. “I'm afraid we can’t ar- range it this week.” “Nonsense! Stuff and non- sense!" shouted Mr. Blither- edge fretfully. “What's the matter with having them in to- night? Let's get it over and done with on the very first day of the week.” “Now, Randolph,” protested Mrs. Blitheredge, “you know very well that this is the last Monday in the month, and that the government inspectors come sometime to-day to seareh the house for concealed liquor and tobacco. They al- ways tear everything to pieces, and goodness only knows when they will get here. I simply cannot plan anything on the day they come.” “All right! All righ growled Mr. Blitheredge “Make it to-morrow, then. There's never much of any- thing doing on Tuesday. And before those government inspectors come, be sure to bury that box of cigarettes of mine in the cellar.” “T buried it early this morning hefore anyone else was up,” said Mrs Blitheredge. Tuesday is impossible because that is the day on which I have to fill out the government blanks showing our itemized expenditures for the preceding week. You know the government put Mr. Lowden in jail for eighteen months because he forgot to put down an expenditure of fifteen cents for birdseed in his weekly ex- pense report “H'm,” said Mr. Blitheredge. “I'd forgotten that. And we can’t do any- thing on Wednesday because we have to attend compulsory prayer meeting, dara it. How about Thursday?” said that will help me will be to kill one of those confounded inspectors. What's doing on Saturday?” “On Saturday,” replied Mrs. Blitheredge, sighing deeply, entertain the cook and her friend: you very well know; and on Sunday we are forced by law to tea, as both have to rest up to get ready for the week to come.” Throwing up his hands with a despairing cry, Mr. Blitheredge, strong man that |i sank into a chair and burst into cor sobs, in which he was heartily joined | Blitheredge. IP ALL THE AMERICAN-ROKN BRITISH NOBLEWOMEN DECIDE TO ENTER THE MOUSE OF CoM MO “Oh, dear,” mourned Mrs. Blither- edge, “ Thursday is the day we have to receive the health inspectors. They will be very particular with us this weck, because last week they found that the neck of one of my shirtwaists was cut three-sixteenths of an inch too low, and that you were getting too many cal- ories in your breakfast ration. And on Friday the government morale off- cer comes around to investigate our morale; and I’m sure he’s going to find that it has fallen and that he will pre- scribe a course of exercise and light amusement for both of us.” “You bet it’s low!” said Mr. Blith- eredge hoarsely. “ But the only thing ITERATURE having some desirc new her youth and revive her ¢ was, ulsive Mrs, Kenneth L. Roberts, No Rest to Te cient spirits, walked one day through a large forest with Dame Na Be- ing fatigued, she rested at evening at the foot of a giant tree. The next morning she awoke much re- freshed and was about to pass on when the tree, leaning over upon her venerable branches, said: “ How often, as now, have I in the past sheltered and ix spired you, and how have you repaid me? Do you hear that sound?” “Yes,” said N dering involuntar is that?” “The work of your numer- ous progeny, the newspapers,” said the tree. “Do not deny that you are their guardian. They boast indeed of your motherhood, yet they come here and cut us down in our prime, that men’s minds may teem with idle and profi- gate and trivial thoughts. Doubtless my turn will come next, my very fibre will bear upon its face some vulgar scandal or spread some false tale, caus- ing misery to untold thousands. For this you have reared them. And when we are gone, there will then be no shelter for you.” Literature wept. “Do not reproach me,” she sobbed. “How was I to know? I came here to get away from them.” shud- “ What ture, Three Blessings 'AN wants three blessings here below: A woman's love, a wad of doush, And health enough to live a while And watch the dough and woman simile comicbooks.com