Life, 1920-02-12 · page 16 of 44
Life — February 12, 1920 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks Progressive Era "uplift" reforms and their unintended consequences. The narrative describes a dystopian post-war America where well-intentioned institutional reforms have paradoxically crippled the nation: the War Department was investigated into dysfunction, the Navy abolished for graft, railroads "plumbed to a standstill," and the military draft announcement got buried under strike news. The satire's punchline: Europe sends a commission that diagnoses America's collapse as "too much uplift"—the cure being the repeal of Prohibition, allowing alcohol back in. The joke suggests that Progressive reformism and temperance movements, however morally motivated, have actually weakened American society. The concluding sentiment—that post-Prohibition "happy days" returned—reflects the magazine's skepticism toward idealistic reform movements, positioning them as naive and counterproductive. The cartoon criticizes both bureaucratic inefficiency and moral crusades.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
268 Downfall of the Uplift FTER the War everyone came the This time Great Greater War. America was better prepared. The War Department had been thorough- ly investigated in ad- vance and all the ) (7 Icading generals ha been either court- martialed or honor- ably retired with permanent high rank. The Navy Department, after a searching inquiry, had just been found honeycombed with graft and inefficiency, and by order of the Secretary had been abolished. The tuilroads, having been Plumbed to a standstill, had long since ceased to function, and the President's call to arms reached the newspapers so late that the press of strike news crowded it out and it was never printed. This, however, did not matter, because most of the man-power of the country was at the moment on strike or attending conference in Washington. The Secretary of the Treasury— an office dating back to the days when there actually was a United States Treasury with something in it—put out his call for the sinews of war, but this was conceded to be a mere formality, the once well-to-do hav- ing disposed of their wherewithal in taxes. The slaughter was frightful. Su rope looked on pityingly, and at length sent a commission over to see what could be done to save the pieces. The findings of the commission were pub- lished in a report: which diagnosed the downfall as a case of too much uplift. “We believe,” concluded the com- mission, “that the have learned their lesson, and that they will Americans never allow themselves to get this way again. What Ame needs to-day is a stimulant.” Thereupon Europe poured forth the juice that had long been forbidden in- side the three-mile limit, and the sur- viving Americans drank thereof and were satisfied. And the days that fol- lewed after the downfall of the uplift were—in the quaint language of olden times—happy days. “THE ONLY THING FOR YOU TO DO IS TOGO AROUND AND APOLOGIZE HER TO FORGIVE You.” AND ASH “BUT WAS IN THE RIGHT.” “THEN YOU'D RETTER BRING SOME FLOWERS AND CANDY WITH You, TOO.” Rarer than Rubies AM as keen on woman's looks As anyone is apt to be, But they don’t keep the man in me As satisfied as if she cooks. I lean to culture; polish, too; Yet lack of either I can stand, So long as there’s an honest hand And eyes whose gaze is calm and true. Laughter that ripples silver clear Delights me, and a play of wit: However, glowing health and grit Are likely to be more sincere. But for my first and final choice, The one essential on the list, If such a charm does still exist, \ low, serene, un-nasal voice! Richard Rutler Glaencer. “T'M sorry, old fellow, that I can't Jend you that ten, but you can dine with me to-night, if you like.” comicbooks.com