Life, 1920-02-05 · page 30 of 52
Life — February 5, 1920 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces mocking contemporary American institutions circa early 1900s. **"The Ancient Church in Grumble Centre"** is a scathing critique of church hypocrisy disguised as historical narrative. The text describes a supposedly ancient church whose members bicker, gossip, and contradict themselves—yet concludes "That ancient church was very modern." The satire reveals that modern churches replicate these same petty conflicts: deacons monopolizing prayer time, choirs facing impossible criticism, pastors condemned whether they address current events or stick to scripture, and congregants' generosity fluctuating wildly. The accompanying illustration shows a child asking whether God tires of repetitive prayers—the innocent question exposing institutional staleness. **"Nowadays"** jokes darkly about a manufacturer squeezed between government taxation (75%) and employee demands (50%), leaving him "twenty-five per cent. in the hole"—mathematically impossible but capturing the era's anxiety about competing demands on business profits during labor activism and increased taxation. Both pieces employ deadpan humor to critique institutional rigidity and economic pressures of the period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
230 The Ancient Church in Grumble Centre HE members of that old church loved one an- other about as much as most church members love one another to-day, and they fought one another with equal zest. The prayer meetings enjoyed the same degree of stagnation found in most prayer meetings of to-day. Deacon Long and Deacon Graft had a monop- oly on the spare time. Deacon Long was the champion long-distance prayer- maker in the empire. He could cover more ground in thirty minutes than any living man or woman. The choir came in for the usual com- pliments. If a soloist sang sheet music she was trying to show off; if she sang a Gospel hymn she was too lazy to prepare anything else. Some of the singers opened their mouths too wide and some didn’t open them wide enough. One changed her facial ex- pression every nine seconds, and an- other was as expressionless as the Sphinx. If the chorister asked the elderly people to join the choir he was accused of organizing a society of an- tediluvians ; if he asked the young peo- ple, he was collecting a kindergarten As for the pastor, if he said too much about the topics of the day, he was forsaking the Gospel; if he stuck to the Gospel he was an old fogy and out of date. Some of the people com- plained because lidn’t call enough, and others said. ~ \\e don’t want our minister to pull doorbelis; we want him to preach But one thing about the minister never changed —his salary was “the same yesterday, to-day and forever.” Some of the people in that church strong, were weak; some could go to the Colosseum six days a week and go to church on Sunday with a face that would make a sunbeam green with envy; others could go once and come home with their religion blown to atoms. Some people opened wide their purses and gave lib- erally, and others who gave a dime feund the shock so great it took them a week to get over it. That ancient church was very modern. sermons.” were and some “ MOTHER, DON’T YOU SUPPOSE THE LORD GETS AWFUL SICK 0’ HEARIN’ THE SAME OLD PRAYERS NIGHT AFTER NIGHT?” RIEND: MANUFACTURER: How’s business? Not bad. Nowadays With the government wanting seventy-five per cent. of the profits and the employees fifty per cent., I'm not running over twenty five per cent. in the hole. BEFORE THEY BECAME Boy SCOUTS— comicbooks.com