Life, 1919-11-06 · page 12 of 36
Life — November 6, 1919 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Do's for Poets"** (by Clement Wood): Mock advice for aspiring poets, mocking pretentious literary styles—urging clichéd "passion," affected language, and deliberate obscurity to appeal to "modern mood." **"Doubly Difficult"**: A joke contrasting stage detectives (who must disguise their intelligence) with real-life detectives (who needn't hide their competence). **"The Last Phase"**: Satirizes 1920s American social decay—chewing gum lotteries draining poor people's savings, children in croquet pools, hospitals filled with cough-drop addicts, and marriage reduced to commercialism. The punchline: a referendum made wine and beer 10-to-1 favorites, suggesting Prohibition's failure and public desire for repeal. **"The Trap"** and **"The First Balky Steed"** appear to be humorous illustrations accompanying these pieces.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LIFE: Do’s for Poets F you'd write a little lyric in the magaziny style, ‘Take a dash of lilac loveliness, an understanding smile, With a cup or two of pale regrets, a passion purely paste, And enough of vanished yesterdays to season it to taste. “Ah, if ever » Weakly poignant, sadly clever, And a hint of unforgotten hours to scason it to taste. “Tell me never— If you'd pound a virile ditty of the tough and muscled breed, Slant your biceps on the adjectives, and make your rhythms bleed! Have a smash in every epithet to make the eye-teeth crunch, And a sprinkling of profanity, to give the piece a punch! “On the level “What the devil Till your staidest stanzas revel— With a smear of utter goriness to give the piece a punch But if you'd achieve a pensive highbrow ode upon your soul, Pour the cosmos in your fountain-pen, and Contemplate Your Goal! Be very, very foggy and hysterically crude, With some eons and some molecules to catch the modern mood, “ Psyche’s scion——~" “Charred Orion —— This is just the line to try on, With a deathless death that dare not die, to catch the modern mood! Clement Wood. Doubly Difficult “TT takes a cleverer man to be a stage detective than to be-one in real life.” “Oh, rot! What you mean, anyhow?” “Sure it does! The stage detective has to disguise him- self so cleverly that no character in the play will recognize him, while every person in the audience does.” THE TRAP Frohibitionist Chimn uth (on lookout for domestic stills): We'p BETTER STOP HERE, ELIJA. IT SMELLS LIKE LIVER AND ONIONS, BUT ONE NEVER KNOWS The Last Phase HE degradation of the American people in to28 had reached the final stage. The great Chewing-Gum Lottery ate up the savings of the poor. Children put all their pennies into the croquet poolrooms. The cough-drop addicts filled the hospita Marriage had become a mere matter of love It was at this point that the uplifters urged the remanu- facture of wine and beer to counteract these influences. In the great referendum liberty won the day, and wine and beer were outvoted ten to THE FIRST BALKY STEED comicbooks.comij,