Life — October 30, 1919 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: O Conscript Fathers! A Page, Hitherto Unpublished, from the “ Congressional Record The House of Misrepresentatives) HE SPEAKER: of the House the gentleman from Rosy Valley (Mr. Fussfut) is nizable for four-and-a-quarter minutes Mr. Fussrut: What'll it be, boys? Mr. Fuatnean (of Brassne Will the gentleman yield? Mr. Fussrut: Mr. Fratieap: Under the order recog- Sure. Tell us the about the hazoo player. Tue Sreaker: The gentleman from suggested the story of the bazoo player Me Katemoses (of right to object, is it an objectionable story? Mr. Fussrut: out the realm— Mr. Kaemoses : Me. Fussrut: I haven't got to the point Mr. Karnmoses: 1 know that. / want to make the point Tue Speaker: The gentleman from Verschantzen wants to make the point Mr. Fussrut: Me. Kacemoses that I do not t a medieval sound, a feudal sound that suggests oppressive autocracy. In this enlightened age—in these great and glorious United States that stand for liberty—that stand for equality—that stand for more than I can say— Mr. Fussrut: They stand for a lot when they keep you in the House. Mr. Katnmoses: Mr. consent to inscribe in the record that, 3rassneedles has Is there objection? : Verschantzen) Reserving the It was a day of great rejoicing through- Will the gentleman yield to a point? Is there objection? I object. Is he telling the story? AML L wanted to say, Mr. Speaker, was the sound of the word “realm.” Tt has Speaker, I ask for unanimous 747 Tne Speaker: The gentleman from Little Toucan claims that there was a young lady named Alice. Mr. Fiatneap: Reserving the right to object, why was her name Alice? Mr. Wartuocc Mr. Fratnean: Why is your name Flathead? Is the gentleman from Little Toucan If so, I should like to refer t ose-busting of the gentleman from Rosy Valley Irying to get personal? to the Mr ssrut: Reserving the right to object, could her name be anything else but Alice? Mr. Wartitoce: It could not teemed associates will do me the honor If my worthy and es- I shall give them the full benefit of this very fair bit of original verse There was a young lady named Alice, Who lived at her ease in a palace; j Though questions arose re her jewels and clothes She never bore any one malice. (A pplause.) Tue Speaker: That was very fair, very fair Have you another one Mr. Wartitoce: No; has. I will yield to him THE Speaker asleep, It is now under the order of the House to ntleman from Verschant- (Applause.) The gentleman from Verschantzen is mut the To awaken him is contrary to parliamentary law t with more dministra- serious subjects such as prohibition, railroad tion and peace treaties Mr. Buume (of Squagett’s Four Corners) I suggest that those ireatment The Sreaker jection? There was no objection Tue Sreaker: Dispen us adjourn applause.) Congress adjourned, F. O. B, 11:45. All were pleased Henry William Hanemann. tbjects be referred back to the President for He knows more about them than we do. An excellent proposal, Is there ob- ng with parliamentary form, let Last out pays for the drinks. (Tumultuons busted the gentleman from Rosy Val- ley on the nose. Tue Sreaxer: ceed with the story Mr. Fussrur: day of great rejoicing throughout the tealm. (Glares at Mr. Kalbmoses. The gentleman from Verschantzen has his feet on his desk and has gone to sleep.) The sun shone in the sky, the breeze blew and the little birds sang— Tue Speake The four-and-a half minutes have expired. The gentleman from Rosy Valley will have to finish bis story in the luncheon room. Me. Wartioce (of Little Toucan) : Mr. Speaker- Tue Speaker: The gentleman from Little Toucan is recognizable for two- and-a-third minutes Mk. Wartuocc: There was a young lady named Alico— due to the insult received, I have just [ You have it. Pro- As I said, it was a Jack: Jill: MANY CHANGES IN YOUR APARTMENT THIS YEAR? RATHER! TWO PIANOLAS AND FIVE PHONOGRAPHS MOVED OUT! comicbooks.com