Life, 1919-06-19 · page 32 of 42
Life — June 19, 1919 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines: **"Aut Scissors Aut Nullus"** mocks a lazy lodger who refuses to rise early, claiming he can't determine proper clothing until late morning—satire on indolence disguised as fastidiousness. **"Unregenerate"** uses dialect humor (common but now offensive) to joke about an African American woman choosing life over heaven, with the punchline that Sunday school hasn't reformed her worldly values. **"Naval Term"** and other brief quips mock military pretension and bureaucratic absurdity. The **"Why Not?"** piece satirizes a police officer who, when told a burglar lacks a machine gun, refuses to help—mocking either cowardice or absurd official procedure. **"Quit Scores"** depicts revenge: a church usher seats a snobbish woman where stained glass throws unflattering red light on her face. The page concludes with an automobile advertisement. The humor relies on class mockery, ethnic stereotypes, and wordplay—conventions that define the magazine's satirical approach.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Tt is now after ten o'clock,” said the landlady. “I really cannot keep the breakfast waiting for you so long every replied the lazy lodger, with dignity, “if you think I am going to endanger my health by ising before the day is far enough advanced for me to tell whether I shall have to put on my winter flannels or my gauze underwear, you are entirely mistaken."—Tit-Bits. Unregenerate “Ah say, Mandy, ef yo’ had yoh pick, which would yo’ rather do—live, or die an’ go to heaven?” “ Ah'd rather liv “Why, Mandy, yo" Sunday-school hain't done yo" whatsomever."—Everybody’s chile! no good, scan‘lous We've often thought what a pity it is that a man can't dispose of his experi- ence for as much as it cost him. —Elkridge Independent. Live is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the U Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U. S. Patent Office. in advance, Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $ to Canada, $2 cen Single current copies, 10 cents. Back number: irom date of publication, 2 cents, Issues prior to 1910 out of pri The text and illustratio: in Lire as oprrighted, For Reprint Ri epply to Live, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. NAVAL TERM after three months hts in Great Britain C., England A BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE OF THE FINE MOTOR CAR ALL Quit Scores Cuurcn Usuek (confidentially) : That woman I just seated is Mrs. Stuckup. She had me sent around to the back door when [ called one day on a business errand. Made me transact the business through a servant, too, But I’ve got even with het Frienp: You have given her one of the best pews in the church. Usiter: Wait half an hour. She's right where a stained glass window will throw a red light on her nose. —London Ideas Why Not? Cuter: We will have to dismiss Officer Blank. ComMaisstonek: What! He is charged soldier with a record for brav ery. Curr: That's just it. Last night Mr. Brown called him, and he said there was a burglar in his house. Blank asked him if the burglar had machine-gun, he told him he did not and when Brown said “ No, to take the burglar himsel need a cop—Indian, A. E. F Wuicu of our Presidents coined popu lar phrases they did not live to regret? HANDS " —Wall Street Journal. Lire is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obta: from book: sellers in all the principal cities in the world. The foreign trade supplied from Lirs’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. tributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and Lire docs not hold itself responsible for the loss or non contributions, Notice of change of address sho issue to be affected, addres. fw Custom Design b: The Locomobile Company of America, Bridgeport, Conn.