Life, 1919-06-05 · page 16 of 46
Life — June 5, 1919 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the progressive/socialist political movement of its time through mock cabinet appointments. Life presents a fake "presidential ticket" with Henry Ford for president and W.J. Bryan for vice president, then sarcastically "announces" cabinet positions for real political figures—Claude Kitchin, George Creel, Newton Baker, and Eugene Debs. The satire's point: these appointments would allegedly implement radical socialist policies (wealth redistribution, government control of media, Soviet-style "soviets" in every town). The exaggerated quotes—like Kitchin's plan to limit incomes and rations, or Baker's incompetence managing the Navy—mock both the appointees and the perceived dangers of socialist governance. The cartoons mock contemporary debates about American radicalism post-WWI. Eugene Debs, a real socialist politician, is included as Labor Secretary. The side cartoon about tire mileage claims appears unrelated satire. The piece reflects *establishment anxiety* about leftist movements gaining political traction during this era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
984 “OD EPE LIFE’S New Presidential Ticket > For Vice-President, W. J. Bevan For President, Henry are proceeding with the selection of our coming Cabinet with due caution and reserve. Many hot-headed people counsel rash action. Mr. Ford and Mr. Bryan, how- ever, are both keenly alive to the immense responsibility, and are not to be deterred from the process of selecting the ablest men to aid thém in their desire to place the country in the near future on a truly Bolshevistic basis. May we not also counsel patience? With Colonel E. M. House as Per- manent Secretary of State and Edsel Ford as Secretary of War (as announced last week), the safety of our country for all time is now assured. We are now, however, delighted to continue with these further additions: For Secretary of the Treasury, Claude Kitchin. “When I am elected to this great office,” declared Mr. Kitchin, “the country will rapidly be put on a basis of financial equality. Russia has nothing on us, All incomes. over eighteen hundred dollars will be immediately turned over to the government. Publishers will be abolished. All citizens north of Mason and Dixon line will be allowed two meals a week, to consist of carrots and cabbages, and will be compelled to wear all-cotton clothes.” For Postmaster General, George Creel. It has long been realized that our literature has been trembling in the balance, as there are still some magazines and papers issued that are not controlled by W. R. Hearst. Mr. Creel will settle this matter once and for all. “There will be but one daily paper after this, and I shall write it all,” said Mr. Creel. As for the mails and tele- graph and telephone systems, I shall continue the work of gradually abolishing them which has heen so ably begun by my friend Mr. Burleson. All advertisements will also be written by myself.” For Secretary of the Navy, Newton Baker. Mr. Baker has made such a grand success in the War Department, and is so generally beloved, that he ought to have an equal opportunity to put the navy where it belongs. Mr, Baker is acquainted with the Atlantic Ocean, and knows an airplane by the descriptions he has seen of it in George Creel’s Official Bulletin. Hence he has ample quali- fications for his great office. “T shall use the ships of our navy,” said Mr. Baker, “to transport some of my intimate European friends to these friendly shores. No hamlet will be complete without its soviet.” WHEN GREEK MEETS GRE THE CLUB MEMBERS DECIDE TO INTRODUCE THE MAN Wul0 CLAIMS FIFTEEN THOUSAND MILES ON A SET OF TIRES TO Tt MAN WHO CLAIMS TWENTY-NINE MILES TO THE GALLON OF GAS For Secretary of Labor, Eugene Debs. “No one,” said Mr. Debs, ‘an expect to perform the duties of my great office without a period of seclusion am now preparing myself in advance for my great task.” Other announcements later. CCE Young Chloe: WELL, AM GOT TO RUN ALONG. AH'S GWIN TO WASH FOH A LADY, AN’ AH DOESN’T WANT TO BE LATE. Aunt Dinah: poesx’t WANT TO BE LATE? HUMPH! att RECKON YOH ISN'T A VE'Y 'SPERIENCED WASHLADY.