Life, 1919-05-15 · page 21 of 50
Life — May 15, 1919 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of social satire: **"Muzzles"** is a humorous poem questioning why we muzzle dogs (to prevent harm) yet don't muzzle mice, which cause actual damage. It's light wordplay commentary on illogical social practices. **"A Romance of the Future"** satirizes progressive-era anxieties about bureaucratic control and gender relations. A young woman requires her suitor to obtain official permission to propose marriage and produce documentation of his character. The joke's twist: her father, hidden behind a curtain, approves the dishonest man precisely *because* he admitted vices—valuing honesty over morality. This mocks both excessive regulation and shifting social values around candor. **"Paradoxically Handicapped"** is a brief joke about Dolittle's contradiction: he's too lazy to start projects but (implied) too lazy to quit them—a personality paradox. The bottom item references "Absent-minded Smith" attending a ball after military service, though context is limited. These pieces reflect early 20th-century concerns about bureaucracy, changing courtship customs, and character.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Muzzles ANIANS, pugs and poodles, sized pets of high degree, se placid grins show teeth like pins, arce large enough to slay a flea— vuzzled lest they do us harm! hence springs this spineless sense of dread? jot some piper work a charm, id muzzle all the mice instead? Mabel Haughton Collyer. \ Romance of the Future } yO you love me The young woman of the future, ased in a robe of sombre gray that ered her from head to foot, looked the modest young man who stood fore her. ‘Have you your certificate from our al council giving you permission to k this question?” He produced the paper. “Will you marry me?” he asked. “What are your habits? Remember iat everything you say will be set own against you.” “T have a private still on my prem- ises, and take a drink when I feel like I smoke in secret. I flirt, swear, horoughly enjoy being occasionally wicked, and frequently abandon myself © mere pleasure.” he young woman arose with a triumphant smile on her face. “T warned you.” she said, “that your truthfulness would be your un- doing. Knowing that you were com- ing, T asked father to conceal himself behind the portiére.” “Young man,’ 1 the father stern- ly, as he issued from his place of con- cealment, “there is one condition that LOOK AROUND NOW FOR THE NEAREST EXIT ABSENT-MINDED SMITH, JUST OUT OF THE SERVICE, ATTENDS A BALL I make. When you marry my daughter—as I shall insist upon your doing—I want to have it understood that you shall live with me. You're just the man I am looking for. And above all things, bring along your still.” Paradoxically Handicapped OKUS: Dolittle seems to have ambitions, but is too indolent to carry them out. Pokus: Yes, if he ever should begin anything, he'd be too lazy to stop. THe acid test for a woman is to walk past a mirror without looking into it. comicbooks.com