Life — May 1, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

For Higher Higher Education HE work of organizing the new In- ternational University to operate un- der the League of Nations is going for- ward rapidly. Wishing to be consistent with strictly modern thought, the organ- izers have begun at the farther end and are working toward the beginning. Thus ‘ it happens that the list of degrees to be offered is available before the seat of learning or the faculty have been selected. It is impossible to give the complete list. for it is under constant revision. How- ever, the following have been agreed to: E.— Propaganda Engineer. Only holders of s bachelors of press-agenting may be candi- ntation of a thesis with newspaper clippings dates. Conierred upon pre: attached. M. S.—Master of Sophistry. A special degree intended primarily those who filled certain posts at Washington between 1017 and toto. T period may be extended if the results of the 1ozo0 elections seem to justify it B, D.—Bachelor of Drives. Four years of regular work in the School of Fund Raising is the minimum requirement D. D.—Doctor of Dictation. Limited to those without classical preparation ; education in the humanities will operate as a bar for the present. Given after five years of n esident work and approval of a specimen cylinder by the AR wesc Board of Tru y, BUT WHAT A SHOCK IF Hh . —— . a yrars! A PARADE is over with the shouting, but a job may last a lifetime. e3. Tardy HE Recording Angel was busily engaged opening a new set of books, when the wireless telephone buzzed. He listened a moment, astonishment on his face, then slowly hung up the receiver and went in search of St. Peter. “ Anything doing?” St. Peter asked. “Rather,” the Recording Angel declared. “ Postmaster- General Burleson just telephoned that he is taking over the control and management of heaven. He is going to have the streets paved with vitrified brick hereafter, instead of gold, and he wants a few mechanical piano-players in- stalled. Says there is too much time wasted playing harps. Also he believes he can put heaven on a paying basi: You're fired, and so am I. After next Sunday no angel is to be permitted to fly without a government pilot's license. Just about everybody around here is going to be out of work as soon as Burleson gets heaven systematized and a few new bureaus organized. St. Peter whistled softly, then reached for his own tele- phone. He called a number. “Satan speaking,” came to his ears in a moment. “We just got a message that Burleson is assuming the { | control of heaven,” St. Peter said. “How's every little | thing with you?” | “That’s old stuff,” Satan replied. “Hell was the first i thing he took over.” ; HE best thing about what our friends tell us for our j own good is that we know they do not know what they i are talking about. “NO, FELLERS, 1 CAN'T COME OUT AN’ PLAY THIS MORNING” comicbooks.com