Life, 1919-04-24 · page 18 of 46
Life — April 24, 1919 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces typical of early-20th-century American humor: **"Those Doubtful Don'ts"**: A poem mocking overly restrictive Victorian morality imposed on young women—prohibitions against smoking, flirting, drinking, dancing, and kissing. The satire lies in the speaker's dutiful compliance while implying these restrictions are absurdly repressive. **"Failures"**: An allegory where the abstract concepts "Freedom" and "Ease" meet, attempt to help humanity, fail because humans "did not understand" them, then successfully merge into "Free & Easy"—satirizing how idealistic concepts become compromised corporate products through lawyers and business. **"The Idle Rich"**: A joke about wealth and idleness. When asked what he'd do with five million dollars, student William Powers submits a blank essay, explaining that *doing nothing* is exactly what he'd do as a millionaire—mocking the wealthy leisure class as fundamentally unproductive. The cartoons accompanying these texts reinforce social satire common to the era: critiquing restrictive morality, commercialized idealism, and the idle rich.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY Those Doubtful Don’ts Y parents told me not to smoke; 1 don’t: Nor listen to a naughty joke; I don’t They told me it was wrong to wink At handsome men, or even think About intoxicating drink ; I don't. To dance or flirt was very wrong; 1 don't Wild girls chase men and wine and song; I don't 1 kiss no men, not even one— In fact, I don't know how it’s done; You wouldn't think [ have much fun; 1 don't CLEOPATRA “POURS” “HOW MANY PEARLS DO YOU TAKE IN YOUR TEA, GENERAL ANTONY?" Failures yre spirits met in the dawn of the Great Beginning “1,” said one, “am Freedom.” “And I,” said the other, “am Ease.” And they parted, and went forth to minister unto | men of earth After many years the two, returning, met again. “My! how you have changed!” said Freedom. “The men of earth would have naught of me,” s se. “You, too, have—er—aged a bit.” The men of earth did not understand me. We cov! not get along.” Whereupon they consulted an expensive corporat lawyer, and there was organized the well-known firm Free & Easy, to this day the most successful failure of PLAGIARISM? “ BORBIF, DON’T YOU KNOW IT’S WICKED TO SAY ‘DAMN’? WHERE DID YOU EVER HEAR SUCH A worD?” “ LISTENIN’ TO GRAN'MA TRYIN’ TO CRANK HEK FORD.” The Idle Rich HE teacher asked his pupils to write an essay, telling what they would do if they had five million dollars. Every pupil except little William Powers began writin immediately. William sat idle, twiddling his fingers ar watching the flies on the ceiling. Teacher collected the papers, and William handed in « | blank sheet “How is this, William?" asked teacher. “Is this you essay? Every other pupil has written two sheets or more while you have done nothing!” “Well,” replied William, “that’s what I would do if | were a millionaire!” comicbooks.com