Life, 1919-04-17 · page 10 of 46
Life — April 17, 1919 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon:** Shows a soldier receiving back pay after 900 years of waiting—satirizing the glacial pace of military bureaucracy and compensation delays. **"The Biograph" (Poem by Leonard Wood):** Advocates moderate military preparedness, criticizing both pacifists and excessive warmongering. Wood argues for measured defense without glorifying conflict. **"Advice to Those Who Reach 100":** Health guidance for centenarians, recommending temperance in smoking, alcohol, and diet—typical early 20th-century longevity advice. **Bottom Cartoon:** A prohibitionist traveling in a "dry state" is shocked to discover his shoes have been half-soled with alcohol-soaked leather—mocking prohibition's contradictions and unintended consequences. The page reflects Progressive-era debates about militarism, aging, and alcohol regulation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Biograph LEONARD WOOD HEN only Pacifists were Good, And Woodrow wouldn't, Leonard would. He urged a Moderate Petition For Soldiers, Guns and Ammunition, Because if War should be Declared, It might not Hurt to be Prepared. Such Ardor, wholly Out of Season, Was, patently, Constructive Treason, As Wicked Preparation for Emergencies, produces War. So, when the Arms for which he Pleaded And First Class Fighting Men were needed, They wouldn't let him Go Across For Being Right before his Boss He didn't Cry and spoil his Beauty, But Held his Tongue and Did his Duty As oft before through Lively Times Of Peace and War in Tropic Climes And when we want a Man who's Steady, Clear-minded, Fearless, Trained and Ready, Should Auld Acquaintance Be For- got? Why, no, 1 fancy Rather Not! ‘Arthur Guitermak Advice to Those Who Reach 100 HEN you reach one hundred, what are you going to do about it? Re- member this is considered by many thoughtful experts to be the dangerous age. Do not be misled by your feelings. As you approach one hundred you may notice that you are friskier than ever. But this is the very time when you should be temperate Do not smoke more than fifteen cigars a day. Avoid too much alcohol. Confine yourself to a couple of bottles of beer, and not over a quart of whiskey. Marry occasionally, but not too often . NURICH: You were never ut out fora millionaire. The finest clothes in the world wouldn't make you look prosperous. I guess you're right, my We've been in New York two ks now, and I haven't been held up AFTER WAITING FOR NINE HUNDRED YEARS, METHUSELAH FINALLY RECEIVES HIS BACK PAY FOK SERVICE IN THE ARMY. ECENT reports would seem to indicate that Secretary Baker loves the Amer- ican doughboy almost as much as he does the conscientious objector. THE SURPRISE OF A PROMIRITIONIST WHO, TRAVELING IN A DRY STATE, AND NOT KNOWID HE “ CODE,” SENDS MIS SHOES TO BE HALF-SOLED