Life, 1919-03-06 · page 14 of 42
Life — March 6, 1919 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The left page is a satirical poem about Prohibition, listing American states suffering drought conditions while mocking alcohol bans. It references banned drinks (cocktails, gin, beer, whiskey, absinthe) and famous bartender guides, suggesting Prohibition has created a "desert" of deprivation. The poem laments lost cocktail names and drinking culture. The cartoon below depicts four men in what appears to be an illicit drinking scene. One reclines while others stand nearby. The caption reads: "What'll you have, old chap—cocaine or opium?" / "Give me some plain hashish, I never mix my dope." This darkly satirizes unintended consequences of Prohibition: rather than eliminating intoxication, it supposedly drove people toward harder drugs and narcotics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Great Drought RITE on the Tablets of History, Clio, Shrouded in crape of the gloomiest dye: “Michigan, Georgia, Virginia, Ohio, Both the Dakotas and Kansas are Dry!” Idaho glowers askance at the Flagon; Arkansas frowns on the Drink that is strong ; Washington clambers the dread Water- on; Towa aridly follows along Begging for Milk with a siphon to thin it, Maine and Montana are Off of the Stuff. Nothing with Traces of Alcohol in it Calls for the hesitant — protest, “Enough!” Brandy (“for Heroes,” according to Byron), Beer, Ale and Whiskey, desired of men, Put them w ous Siren! Down in the schedule of “ Never Again! nh Absinthe—the scandal- “Never again!” for the Bitters-and- Sherry, Mint-crested Julep (the Southerner's pride), Happy Tom Collins and blithe Tom- and-Jerry— All the loved names in “The Bar- tender's Guide a basis; Highballs and Rickeys and Slings © accursed ; Life is a Desert without an Oasis; Man is an Island surrounded by Thirst! let us whisper the redolent phrases Born of a day that was other than this, Telling of Smashes and Fizzes and Daisies, Toddies and bliss! Come, Floats of nefarious SN Banned are the Cocktails with Gin for Ss Shall we regret them? scintilla! Birch Beer is glorious! Pop is di What is more mine! “WIAT'LL YOU HAVE, OLD CHAP—COCAINE OR opIUM?” “GIVE ME SOME PLAIN HAS Oh, not one ine! healthful than Sarsa- A Soda for Arthur Guiterman, H, 1 NEVER MIX MY Dore, The Expensive Route “YOU heart through his stomach,” quoted the Parlor Philosopher. “Yes, if you can afford to pay the check.” retorted the Mere Man. can reach a man’s