Life, 1919-01-30 · page 15 of 34
Life — January 30, 1919 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This 1918 Life magazine page contains three distinct items: **"The Biograph"** is a satirical poem by Arthur Guiterman mocking Albert Sidney Burleson, Postmaster General under President Wilson. The poem ridicules Burleson's unpopular postal policies—particularly his suppression of magazines and delays in mail delivery, which frustrated publishers and the public. **"The Republican Vacancy"** discusses the leadership void after Theodore Roosevelt's death, with Hiram Johnson positioned as a potential successor. **"Too Much"** is a brief author's quip about war books. **The bottom cartoon** titled "Fashions in a Well-Known Moustache" shows the stylistic evolution of a recognizable politician's facial hair from 1914-1918, likely satirizing vanity or changing political fortunes during this period.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Biograph ALBERT SIDNEY BURLESON H, Albert Sidney Burleson !— By Victims called the Surly Son Of Many-million-acred Texas— Who jolted in the Solar Plexus The Press of these United States By whooping up the Postal Rates— What roused your Zeal for New Taxa- tions Of Periodic Publications? Why don’t you love the Magazines? Come, let us in Behind the Scenes! Relieve the Hearts of many Fretters 3y telling what delays our Letters: why, in short, the Snarled-up Mails Are slow as Glue and Marled-up Snails! We cry in vain! The Grim Post- master Declines to move a Whit the faster. As Mum as Coney Island's Clam, He does not give a Single Damn. He answers not through Mouth or Journal— This Friend of House, the Gum-shoe Colonel! He thinks our Heads are Wooden Cubes ; He takes away our Postal Tubes Without a Thought of Retribution! And now as though the Constitution, The Rights that None should dare abuse, The Judges, Congress, Charles FE. Hughes, The Courts and all the Laws were Fables, He grabs the Telegraphs and Cables! Arthur Guiterman, Lady Automobilist: BUT YOUR SIGN SAYS FIFTY CENTS A DOZEN. WHAT vo YoU MEAN BY CHARGING ME EIGHTY CENTS? Farmer: Well, THAT SIGN DON’T MEAN NOTHIN’, MEM. THAT'S Jest ADVERTISIN’ The Republican Vacancy LEADER Gone,” run the Spring- field Republican’s headlines, after Roosevelt's death. “Johnson May Rise—It Might Be Borah—Vacancy in Party’s Rank.” But Hiram Johnson is perfectly well known, and has infirmities of disposi- tion, and is subject to indiscretions of utterance that make against his being Republican leader, and Borah has brains, but without any particular man- date to use them for any particular FASHIONS IN A WELL-KNOWN MUSTACHE political purpose. The headliner's last remark is right. There is a vacancy. Hence the disposition to draft Pershing. Too Much HE AUTHOR: Ha! so you have been in the trenches. Then, of course, you will delight in reading my latest book, entitled “Ten Days on the Western Front.” It is only— And then the man who had really been there calmly wiped the blood from his bayonet and replaced it in the scabbard. icbooks.com