Life, 1919-01-02 · page 33 of 34
Life — January 2, 1919 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**The Political Satire:** The "International Efficiency" column mocks President Wilson's decision to remain in Europe after World War I peace negotiations rather than return to govern America. The satirist suggests an absurdist alternative: instead of Wilson staying abroad, simply relocate all of Europe to America. Germany would become "an outlying district of Hoboken," France could pick any U.S. state, Belgium would be "mothered by Ohio," and Austria taught "advanced socialism" by Kansas, with William Allen White as "godfather." **The Joke:** The satire criticizes Wilson's extended absence from domestic governance by proposing an obviously ridiculous solution. It reflects anxiety about executive power concentrated elsewhere while the country needs leadership—particularly mocking the idea that subordinates (Marshall, McAdoo) could adequately manage during his absence. The "schoolmaster" reference suggests Wilson should be home disciplining the nation like a parent. **Context:** This reflects 1919 concerns about Wilson's European commitment versus domestic needs. The rest of the page contains advertisements (Tiffany & Co., Empire Wash Crepe shirts) unrelated to the satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
International Efficiency HI, news that President Wilson will remain in Europe until peace has finally been declared has caused consternation in the minds of many, particularly as Mr. Creel goes with him. It is true that we have Mr. Marshall, and in emergencies we can fall back on Mr. McAdoo and Mr. President Wilson will come bi hat then is going to happen to Europe? Would it not be a simpler plan to move Europe here? We are not so dat present that we might not to make room for it. We could ue Europe around among dif- states, Germany could become an ovtlying district of Hoboken, and France could have her choice of the whole fair land, Belgium could be motiered by Ohio, and Austria could wht up hy Kansas in the ways of need socialism, with Will Men White as godfather. President) Wilson would then have them all under his paternal eye, and coul reach out and spank them when nisbehaved. And we should not be worried then so much by the ab- sence of the schoolmaster 209 vireWash re , | Ik, Shirlings fr Men is_ more than coat deep, as : who wear Empire Wash Crepe Shirt. gs realize when they take their coats off at the t the office, rns and construction of fabric, Empire >e shows exclusiveness and quality to a + before obtained in silk shirtings, le higher priced than ordinary. shirtings, Empire Wash Crepe is sturdy and delwers trun <onomy in Wear to men who can afford a higher atial cost, Sold only by the finest custom shirtmakers and haberdashery shops. Ask your shirtmaker to show you the full line of pire Patterns, Send for illustrated descriptive booklet EMPIRE SILK COMPANY Makers of Siti Sly 315 Fourth Avenue New York JEWELRY, SILVERWARE AND STATIONERY OF PROVEN QUALITY AND VALUE INTELLIGENT AND CAREFUL SERVICE. BY MAIL. FIFTH AVENUE & 37™ STREET NEW YORK “What beckoning ghost along the moonlight shade Invites my steps, and points to yonder glade?” comicbooks.com