Life, 1918-12-26 · page 22 of 35
Life — December 26, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains post-WWI humor addressing soldiers returning to civilian jobs. The main article, "Don'ts for Employers," advises bosses to tolerate veterans' military habits—arriving early, standing rigidly, thinking quickly, absent-mindedly saluting, and wearing wristwatches. The satire gently mocks both employers' ignorance of soldier psychology and soldiers' difficulty readjusting. The illustrations show a soldier returning home and a father with a suitcase "full of bombs" (likely trench ordnance souvenirs—common for returning doughboys). "Household Definitions: As It Seemed Before the War" humorously redefines family members as animals/mythical creatures, then notes the war has changed everything—except babies remain unchanged, suggesting war's universal impact on society and gender roles. The brief dialogue jokes about a young man's multiple broken engagements, comparing his behavior to ringing doorbells and running away—youthful pranks.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
974 Dont’s for Employers (To be observed when the soldier resun his former job) ON’T drop dead if he comes down to work ahead of time. He ac- quired the carly-rising habit in the army Don't think he is trying to curry favor by his manner of addressin: To the soldier every officer is and you are his « li, when you tens up like a ramrod 1 have detected him in Don't imagine that he t because he looks at frequently. It has been so long since he saw a real American girl His attempts at “straightening up” around the office should not be taken as an implication that you are slovenly. The army ‘has taught him super-neat- ness. Please don’t become irritated if his ability to think faster than you do proves annoying. The. army isto blame. Do not dodge or prepare to ward off a blow if he makes a sudden move- ment with his arms. The odds are that he is absent-mindedly saluting. And don't marvel because he has ceased to glance at the clock. Remem- her, he wears a wrist-watch now HE ideal home is the place where WASHINGTON LANDLADY DEPOSITING HER WEEK'S RECEIPTS Household Definitions els It Seemed Before the War the wife has her way, and the hus- hand thinks he has his. HE Man was an animal that worked and dined and smoked and occasionally spoke. The Woman was a bird that dresseil and talked and on rare occasions was silent. The Boy was a savage that thumped and yelled and ripped things to pieces The Girl was a witch that ate candy and danced and motored and called down her mother The Baby was a cherub that gurgled and howled and insisted on holding the steering-wheel in fee-simple The Nurse was an angel that dispensed peace and a hol calm, he Cook was the archangel that kept them all together The War was a revelation, calling for revised estimates in all cases, excepting only the Baby. OUISE: Chollie has broken off three engagements to Pocurned Son: WF CAREFUL OF THAT SUITCASE, DAD; be married. THERE'S A LOT OF BOMBS IN IT Junta: As a boy he'd ring a bell and then run away