Life — September 26, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mrs. onk: Monk: tue WHAT'S THE CAMELS GOT BOTH FLEAS. JOKE? A Great Question Settled CITIZEN I yout Finst AMERICAN sometimes wish I knew more this Russian situation $econy American Crnizen mean to say that oughly familiar with it lightened member of the most intelli- Do you you are not thor- you, an en- gent nation in the world! First Cinizen (furtively and apologetically): Don't breathe this, will you, but I am a trifle weak Perhaps you can help me AMERICAN on Russia out Secoxo dear fellow, I duty to win the war properly going to baseball and study up our international tions? What do you want to knov Fixst American Cinizen (cautious- ty): Well, wi nine and Trotzky shevik? Just give me a private tip, will you, so 1 can talk about it as if I knew something Secoxp Amenicay Crrizex: 1 sure will. To begin with, you knew the Car was out of it, didn’t you Amexican Cinvzex: My consider it my sacred help you out. How can we unless we and stop games movies rela- are these chaps, Le- and what is a Bol- as much from reading the headlines. He times deceased “T suspecte several he?” “Yes, and I'm glad you read the pa- pers. Only by going over them closely been hasn't has recent as I do can you get an accurate idea of what is going on and the great prob- we have to face. Listen, then, fully rotzky Bolshevik statesmen who declared war against Kerensky Germany captured Brest-Litovsk, trying to raise an army of women and lems and Lenine are because and they are children, aided by uniformed Soviets. Besides this, there is a general move- ment in favor of invading Siberia, with the possible aid of the I. W. W,, as- John Haynes Holmes and Percy Grant, which is, however, of posed by the barbers’ union and Sen- ator Miles Poindexter, If the British and French with the Czecho-Slovaks Bashi-E induced to leave the sisted by armies, and can be front and move on Moscow, leaving us to capture the Crown will be Prince, all well, provided the Ukranians are fully mobilized nd Japan obtains permission from Hearst to act; the war will undoubtedly he con- tinued to its duration. Our course Im, and, for the pres- Foch that otherwise says. Is . yes; T wish T had learn all this before. duty!" “Any time you wish further en- lightenment, come to me. By the way, what was the score?” "Four to three, in favor of the Giants.” Now I know my Don'ts for Our Boys on Reaching Berlin ON'T mind if you're too late for sleeping room in the Imperial Palace—the place is haunted. Don't take pictures of Berlin statu- ary—your folks will think you have poor taste. Don't count on getting a portion of von Tirpitz’s beard as a souvenir— there won't be enough to go round. Don't look for fun at a vaudeville theatre—try the Reichstag instead. Don't try to count the Merboten signs —it can't he done. Don't shoot the let him see America first Don't fail Wilhelmstrasse - little opposition. Don't expect too much of German cooking—the cooks are all out of pra Kaiser on sight— to change the name of you will encounter tice. Don't be afraid you'll forget your- selves and act as the German soldiers did in Louvain—it isn’t in you. Of Course We Love Them How cot loving pieces.— HY so? the Germans, and mean to lick hell out of them? What would the Kansas philosopher have us do? Leave hell in them? All the choic between leaving it in and thrashing it out. Which is kinder? pletely the doctrine of has Howe. gone to Because we are fighting we have is THE ELEVENTH HOUR comicbooks.com