Life — September 19, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Salute! ERE'S to the fellow who was no good, Whose — family—always his mother— Went back on him: Who did everything he 0} To have done, and left everything It was hoped he might do: Who was shunned by all the good people, And utterly By the few him, Not quite exactly knowing why They did it Here's to him !—God bless him! For, In spite of everything—prognostica tions, Predictions, repudiations—he is sud denly excepting t not undone despaired of friends who tolerated And unexpectedly disappointing All the prophets, and overwhelmingly And surprisingly making good! A Movie Monologue “RTO, Jen, not quite so far down. Le’s sit’ back aways—this- sabout right, dontcha think? Sorry to troubleya—thank you son oh, I beg your pardon! I really didn’t see your hat! .. . It's the Tropical Review, Jen. I always wunner why they call it that Dontja jus’ love the music they play for the pattry-ottick stuff? . Here's the Jen. Ario planes are certny wunnerful things, ain't they? They say if we had a hunthousand arioplanes in France we could drive the bushes outa the air an’ back acrost the Rind. Bur 1 dunno, “Scenes taken after the Battle of the Marine.’ Them Marines are sure some soldiers. (I beg yours; I ain't been sayin’ a word—have I, Jen?) That's the * Starspanglebanner’ they're playin’ gettin’ wesaw at-tha twilic: las’ gle-e-caming "—tum-ta-ta ta ta ta, There's Pres'dent Wilson’: looks jus’ like ‘is pitchers, don't'e? See, Jen!—Wes'point! aydets march simpully wunnerful! They're be-yootiful dancers, too, so they say. id it! yes right or m avvi now—evbody’'s up !—* what so pro-o-oudl Don’t them Flossy uniforms? You Now they’re doin be it’s ‘Squads My brotha he’s in the Home Il the reve- lations they haveta go through. I don’t see how they carry all them commandments in their heads—do an’ he tells me THEOLOGICAL REPARTEE Kaiser: 1 CAN'T CONCEIVE FERS YoU To EXIST. The Devil: ou, 1 pon’t KNow! LIVE A LITTLE WHILE, DIDN'T HE? WHY Gop svF HE LET you you, Jen? Here comes the calvary —lotsa calvary fellas is gettin’ trans. ferred to other things, my brotha says. Say, Jen, ain't it simpully wu nerful how they pull this-here ca ma-flag! You wooden know th was a cannon there—wood, “How Could You, Jean?’ Mus’ be the one Mary Pickord’s in There atta party She's got lotsa money in the firs ta. this fill ic Toosdie—that’s how I know. Ain't she Then she loses ‘er money « to a_ intelligence ‘¢ for work Funny name for it, ain't it? She gits a job onna farm with a pufessor she is. seen it happent pretty, though ! an’ fis wife, I guess—or maybe ‘is sister. They say she g more'n a million dollars a year—that's more'n the Pres‘dent gits, y'know. “Ya; Ay ban tinkin’ they’s a-planty work ‘roun’ here, Missis Yonson!* Mus’ be Mary's a Swede in this-here fillum. She Swede, a-course! They say her name is really ‘ Pickford,’ but T dun no. Do you think Jack Pickford is really her brotha, Jen? They say he is, but dunno. He's gone in the avvi-ation now—either that or the navy, I unstan Ha—ha- ha! Didja see ‘er handim that hot fryin’-pan? I'm beginnin’ to git the drift of it a little now Swede hired man, an’ he’s in love Mary—she's a ain't really Oscar's. with cook in this fillum, Here's the pufessor—bui y'know telly an’ beetles an’ Say. buttaflies, Z Jen, did I listen ! Et cetera ad infinitum! HT. F. Huste The Tired Business Man's Score Against the Kaiser HIE patriotic raj The civilian’s salute trench coat ¢ military wedding couvert cha © thirty-five-cent hig! The lean pack of cigarettes. The The service flag in the I The lady ele The wheatless muffin hirty-cent movie. nousine. ator operator. The ten-cent egg. PINION is parts divided what we wa four friends into tou to think of us; what we think they do think of think we think think of us: what the us, and what they they think of us. comicbooks.com