Life, 1918-08-22 · page 12 of 34
Life — August 22, 1918 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces: **"In the New Kentucky Home"** is a dialogue satirizing post-Civil War Kentucky social life. The Colonel and Major Piper discuss refreshments and nostalgic memories of ante-bellum "racing days," while Mrs. Henderson worries about the Colonel's fate during wartime. The humor targets the Old South's romanticization of its past even as the war devastates present circumstances. **"Summer Hotel Mother Goose"** is a comic verse parody, shown with an illustration of a woman and child. It's a lighthearted play on traditional nursery rhymes, likely poking fun at summer hotel life and social pretensions. The bottom section begins a story titled "Guilty" about naval discipline and wartime conscription, depicting a young sailor's interaction with an admiral.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LIPE* In the New Kentucky Home Kentuck soon be thinkin: dd feuds ‘one dry, ing. dear to every. blue. of the | , now has twinges over horse- rass heart. We shall as hat ain called a Sunday-s S BE igton, hom der Tur Coronet. (bustling about) : will you have? Let's see—a lem or a nice glass of rich milk? Mayor Pre (tuitting) looking for some Mrs. Hexen You are too restles Oh, you Really, my dear, and you have > for the day tL (subdued) Forgive The the emory of those old mint juleps out And those racing days! fact is, 1 cannot get y mind Ht was all so wicked and delightful! Mayo my friend Pirex: Yours a sad case, I recommend a careful re- of the works of Josephus Daniels Tur Coroxrn: AL confess it with sham The works of Josephus no longer inspire 1 s, my friend, I Mes. Hexpersox: He has been go- on this way secretly for some time atly. Look! strange ew 1 fear for him ¢ Tuk Coronet light They're off! They're off! Firefly leads the first What! No jack pots and a twenty-five-cent limit! I hope I'm a of Kentucky. Mose, you black rascal, where's that B in his eves): There! quarter. gentleman sah SUMMER HOTEL MOTHER GOOSE See Saw, poor old paw, Sold his bed and sold his straw; Sold his shirt and all his stu: So maw and the girls could keep up the bluft. in the Colonel and n and their old friend, Major Piper. York Evening Post. ning, near I. Henderson Ars, Hen- Now, my friend, what de, pineapple sherbet sad dog! Always astronomical excitement the Major is right ttaken your knitting “MY ONE RECKET JS THAT E HAVE BUT SIX MILLION LIVES TO GIVE FOR MY COUNTRY” bon—T—1— chair, he Mrs. will become of him? Major Pires ting): lessly (He falls back in sly staring at the ceiling.) Hexperson: Oh! Oh! What his (resuming his knit- My friend, 1 do not wish need- to alarm you—but 1 see little The Colonel will have to be in- terned for the duration of the war. His Humble Function S nearly as J said the supercilious young woman, “you are what they call a lit- y hack.” No,” I'm jitney.” hope. determine,” replied the young man, wear- ily, not even a hack. I'm a Guilty A CERTAIN admiral whose addic- tion to strong language is well known in the navy was one day inspect- ing one of the ships under his com- mand. When he came to the brig (ship's jail) his piercing eye traveled from one to another of the prisoners, who were evidently ill at ease under his scrutiny, “What the ——— are you in for?” he demanded of one. “For using profanity, sir,” meck reply. was the NOW that our boys are somewhere in France, it means that they will soon be everywhere in Germany,