Life — August 8, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BROTHER, THY TAIL HANGS DOWN BEHIND Popular Conceptions BOLSHEVIK is a black-headed, narrow-chested com- bination of Russian, Pole and Hebrew who is always running away from something or killing people on the sly. He never bathes or brushes his hair, and the moment anything is, he wants wild-eyed, to have it abolished. A Sinn Feiner is a man with Celtic whiskers who spends his time in cel- Cain: WiAt'ke YOU THINKING AboUT, ABEL? é Abel: 1 WE MAD SIXTEEN BROTHERS WE COULD START A BALL GAME. “ Here we sit in a branchy row, Thinking of beautiful things we know, Dreaming of deeds we mean to do, All complete, in a minute or two.” Kipling—" The Juugle Boo lars consorting with Prussians. His object is to overthrow the British Em- pire. He lives in Dublin, New York and parts of Milwaukee. A Chorus Girl is a young woman who never sleeps, and passes most of the time, when not on the stage, in drinking champagne with millionaires. Her age is variously estimated at from sixteen to a hundred and s accord- ing to the depth of her make-up. \ Specialist is a man whose prin occupation is robbing people of money they have and operating upon them needlessly with instruments spe- cially devised for this purpose. When for various reasons he cannot induce his patients to be operated upon, then Ie has a sanitarium into which they are incarcerated and slowly robbed and starved to death An itor is a vindictive creature whose main object in life is to prevent anything intelligent from getting into his paper. To accomplish this he surrounds himself with a few well-known authors long past their usefulness, printing their manuscripts. for the sake of their names, while un- mean, known geniuses whe send in master- pieces are wholly ignored, All Editors, of course, are under the direct control of the advertising departments The Society Woman lies abed drink- ing coffee and smoking cigarettes every day until noon, when her maid, usually named Marie, knocks gently and says, “Your bath is drawn, madam.” She then rises, enters her limousine and goes shopping, buying several thousand dollars’ worth of lingerie and hats. In the afternoon she attends polo games and fétes, and in the evening spends her time in opera or theatre boxes or playing bridge for large stakes. is cither about to get a divorce, has just obtained one, or is not living with her husband—to whom, however, she always bows politely when they meet in public. Von Tirpitz’s Big Idea R. GERARD says it was von Tir- pitz’s intention to seize the British man it with Germans, and use it for the She avy, to make the United States war. It was a fine, robust intention, but too much like the intention of a medium-sized dog to take a large bone away from a dog several sizes larger and at least equally ambitious. We wish von Tirpitz had conde- scended to morc details. The British navy was always bigger than his. Now, combined with ours. it is about twice as hig. How did he ever expect to seize it? “ovr town went dry yesterday.” “No more alcohol?” Except in the home: comicbooks.com