Life, 1918-07-18 · page 22 of 36
Life — July 18, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains astrological "horoscopes" mocking two prominent early-20th-century figures: **Henry W. Watterson** (born 1840)—a famous newspaper editor—is ridiculed through fake astrological jargon suggesting he's perpetually childish, opinionated, and surrounded by sycophants ("teddy bears"). **John F. Hylan**, NYC mayor (elected 1917), is satirized as a political hack controlled by Tammany Hall bosses (Richard Croker, William Tweed references). The baseball metaphor mocks his rise as pure political machinery. The "pro-German muffing" alludes to WWI-era corruption suspicions. The cartoons mock war profiteering (soldiers in a trench) and Christian Science faith-healing (a man falling through a floor while a healer claims absent treatment works). The "Advice to Money" essay uses ironic wordplay: currency has lost value due to inflation, so money no longer buys what it once did—reversing normal cause-and-effect to satirize economic decay, likely post-WWI inflation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Life’s Horoscopes HENRY W. WATTERSON HIS gentleman was born Febru- ary 16, 1840, with Libra throwing conniption fits, Pegasus rampant, Taurus tossing laurel wreaths in the air, Aquarius in eclipse, poker chips on the cusp of Leo and sublime edi- torials forming on the face of Jupiter. ul | The orbit of Sagittarius being crossed with the Manhattan club and v george harvies linked up with New | Jersey, this means that he will live forever, he being now in his first childhood. He has a Wattersonian temperament and the courage of his prejudices; should mingle constantly with teddy bears to induce tranquillity, and, not having a superiors, should tolerate the society of equals. Looks handsome in any creation of his own. JOHN F. HYLAN Mees and Jupiter being in wig- wam with the astral body of Richard Croker, with William Tweeds rampant, and Hearsts and Brisbanes on the wane, this gentleman made his. first outery in the fall of 1917, with Murphy at the bat, three Tammany men on bases, two doctors out on called balls, and pro-German muffing flies in the outfield. He will achieve his highest literary distinction as a writer of municipal reminiscences about himself, and will do his hest work after 1920 as pub- licity expert for’ a mausoleum, Looks well in a yellow mother hubbard ornamented with Hog Island fringe trimmed with ward heclers. Should beware of Hohen- zollern aeroplanes rising in the west. Advice to Money F Money values the reputation which it has always en- joyed up to this time it had better take a thorough inventory of some of its recently acquired habits. It is unnecessary to enter upon an enumeration of these habits here, but the results are apparent to all. What Money has been doing has tended mightily to cheapen it, and this is one of the worst things that could happen to Money. For instance, there was a time within the memory of all when one could get almost no Money for an egg or a potato or a picce of bacon. Those were days when Money held its head up, and it was worth striving for. ‘ow, however, one can get almost no egg or potato or hacon for a piece of Money. If this keeps up, Money will not be worth the effort required to get it. Even so well-intrenched and well-esteemed a commodity as Money cannot long withstand such a degenerative ten- dency. A word to the wise Moncy is sufficient. HIS BIT Captain: Look WERE! WHY DON’T YOU GRAR THAT GUN AND USE IT? -Christian-Science Healer: 1 pox'T NEED IT. ING THEM WITH ABSENT TREATMENT, “Tt might have been!” VM KILL