Life, 1918-07-11 · page 28 of 34
Life — July 11, 1918 — page 28: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Wheels Go Round Once More"** satirizes Congressional spending during wartime (likely WWI era). The sketch depicts cynical legislators casually appropriating billions without scrutiny—a ten-million-dollar rivets bill is dismissed as "chicken feed," while billions are approved despite nobody knowing what they're for. Chairman Scudds' response ("you're talking!") when Buncum proposes taxing working-class citizens north of the Mason-Dixon line reveals the hypocrisy: massive war spending is enthusiastically endorsed only when ordinary Americans foot the bill. **"See the Gentle Bivalve"** uses the oyster as a philosophical metaphor contrasting with Congressional greed. The oyster lives contentedly without worry, gossip, or ambition—accepting whatever comes. The satiric implication: the oyster's passive acceptance and indifference represents a superior philosophy to the wheeling-dealing, self-interested behavior of corrupt politicians spending public money recklessly. Both pieces critique wartime profiteering and governmental corruption.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Wheels Go Round Once More sé A congressional committee room. Session: Secret. Pre : Chairman Scudds and Messrs. Bawler, Petti- fogge and Buncum. Cuatrsan Scunps (chewing the end from his cigar): Now, gentlemen, what’s on the hooks to-day? Pettiroccr: Billy, shove that cuspidor this way, will you? I have here an appropriation of ten millions for rivets. CuatrMan Scupps: Pass that up. We haven't any time to bother with chicken feed. Bawter: Here's a couple of billions we ought to talk about. CHatrMan Scupps: Well, well, well! What's it for? Bawter: I don’t know. CuairkmMan: Refer it to a sub-committee, with power to go ahead and buy what's needed at any old price. Buncum: Mr. Chairman— Cuairman: Mr. Buncum has the floor. Buncum: Allow me to present an original scheme, never before promulgated, for winning the war in five years by the expenditure of only ten billions a month, to be paid for by the men of moderate salaries who live north of Mason and Dixon's line. CHAIRMAN: Now, gentlemen, you're talking! Close all the doors and windows, turn on the electric fans, and let's get busy! HIS FORMER OFFICE BOY “4 “LIFE: Coats LODE —YSERF TIME FOR REFLECTION PORTRAIT OF CAPTAIN FRITZ VON THUG, WHOSE SUBMARINE HAS BEEN LOCATED BY UNITED STATES DESTROYERS. HE 1S NOW WAITING FOR THE DEPTH BOMBS, See the Gentle Bivalve EE and behold the Gentle Bivalve, sometimes more familiarly addressed as the Oyster. Curious combination of hard shell and soft gelatinosity. See how it lies all day on the ocean's bottom, speaking to no one and spoken to by nobody. Not only is the Oyster no gossip, but it is also not a gad- about, It is content to lie still, letting vast quantities of sea water pass through it and around it, depositing here and there bits of food which are particularly suited to the Oyster’s digestive organs. Neither does the Oyster worry about the future, even that remote and uncertain future often referred to as the after life. The Oyster does not care how it meets its end, whether it is devoured by a denizen of a First Avenue Oyster bar, a patron of the Mills or a guest of the Ritz- Carlton, Under such ideal conditions of bliss who would not gladly be an Oyster?