Life, 1918-04-04 · page 15 of 40
Life — April 4, 1918 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a short humorous story about a husband named Alphonse examining his wife's heavy, ornate earrings. He finds them visually striking but impractical, joking about "an unexpected session of the conservatory board" and later praising them to his club as proof of their wealth and taste—though he privately wishes for simpler jewelry. The accompanying cartoon (bottom right) shows a man examining seeds, with the caption suggesting the seeds will grow into something worthwhile—a visual pun contrasting with the earring story's theme of examining decorative objects. The left side includes "The Old German Soldier's Almanac" for April 1918, a dated WWI-era satirical calendar mocking German military life during wartime.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
} | 52M. 124! W. | | EVP ° | THE OLD GERMAN SOLDIER'S ALMANAC APRIL hath 30 d Stucet April bringetly skies of blue And luscious cloaks of greenery: The mud dries up; and Prussians tene March forth and foreck the seener Asrects, Hotipays, REMINISCENCES, Buunpers, Etc f himself, | Crown Prine “18, inc Zeppelins kill 1916. Hindenburg not yet arrived in Apr, 1 dinner. ot intervals S. Senate votes war with Germany, 191 with cold, Germany devotes day to hating U. S., 1917. French declared decadent hy Germans, 14. "15. raw rece Low Sunday. ov ? C. € on Eq 417 Ibs. Iron Crosses dis. by Kaiser, 1017. | Cin Peri. | Kaiser mentions Gott, 1915 ef seq. | Bernstorif demands U. S. stop exporting ~ | munitions, * About this time | Germany exports arms to Boers and Brit- ish, 1900. look for 2d Sundav after Easter. YC. murdered ecvilians makes foo and wound 2 Tu. 3.W., 4 Th. & 5. | 5/Fr. 6\Sa. 7\F © runs high. Germans not so sure French are decadent, | 1916, 1917. in B une Kaiser's jth son gets 2 mls. from front trench, "16. and Kaiser's 4th son declared a hero, 1916. Northern Franc to tire in Berlin falls to pieces, 82 people starve in Berlin, 1017 30 Sunday af. Easter. | Last Hot.air 23, Tu. of German war aims werkraut in- St George ented, 1381 Wilson signs $7,000.00 25 Th Bismna 26, Fr. | Kaiser regrets starting the war, ‘ts ine. | O Hindenburg still late for Apr. 1 dinner en- 27! Sa. | .oo0 bond bill, 1917. rek rolls over in grave, 1017. kagement Indications of social 28|F | 4th Sunday after Enster. 0 b ©. 29 M. | C ms low. unrest. German butter supply also runs low, "16, "17. | impossible, m Kaiser C in Apo. € on Eq. G fC. 0% nobility: s Geemax Sorpter’s CALENDAR | Any soldier who has not| practised terrorism as taught by the Prussi: thorities, ld take Jtage of the w weather to do so a The warm weathe the soldier to bi ouses and chase the tants without to himself; while the |. hess of the night air causes the homeless persons to suf- | fer intensely. This is a good | way in which to work off the |dutness and languor result | ing from the winter's lack of exercise Reme relatives in are suffering for the nec ties of lit that every- thing whi € sei k to them will be of tse in looting ants’ homes, |do not anythil | Such uni nt articles as toys, dolls’ dresses, babies" | shoes, looking-glass ing utensi old g: len - scription should be packed up sent home. If this is they should be carefully ‘destroyed. i cordance with Section Article 9a, of the revised structions for Invad Armies. rt should much as pe the a season longing for finery a things. Your efforts will be preciated, April is an excel for an army to destroy fruit. The inhabitants | to look forward | utiful appearance Fees will soon pre: | ; and the loss of them time is felt more y ntly than at any other Kenneth L. Roberts, 551 The Psychology of Earrings PON entering the compact gentility their Alphonse furtively at Finding them to be heavy lack with of apartment, glanced his wife's ear- rings. triangles interspersed sundry cabalistic designs, he beat a hasty re- treat. “Darling,” he lied, “there's an unexpected session of the conservation Came home for a clean hand- And late security board. in the compara- club: “Good heavens, what an escape! It would Freud, Tolstoi and H. G. Wells the whole evening long!” kerchief.” tive of his have heen The next night she wore miniature chandel; ers glittering with crude and extraordinary gems and resting neatly on her shoulders. He joyfully sug- gested the Hippodrome. The per- formance over, they tackled Sherry's— it was with great difficulty that he finally maneuvered her home. After the chandelier era of light- hearted revelry it was a distinct shock to come upon her knitting, with ears “The children,” she observed, “ must all have 1 him encased in unobtrusive pearls. their adenoids cut! "—and dra; to a meeting of the Parent-Teachers’ Association. Then came the hideous moment when her ears were exposed to the world, unadorned, unprotected." Modern women,” she said, in response to his horrified exclamation, “have no time for non-essentials. I'm billed for picket duty at the White House!” Ruth Lambert Jones. Pup: Vit JUST EXAMINE THE THE BOSS PLANTED YESTERDAY, GLAD TO SEK ME SO INTERESTED, Me'LL BE comicbooks.com