Life, 1918-03-28 · page 16 of 40
Life — March 28, 1918 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **anti-Wilson satire** from WWI-era *Life* magazine. The left poem mocks post-war optimism, suggesting people delay social improvements until "after the war"—then questions why they don't start *now*. The right section parodies the Bible to critique President Woodrow Wilson's wartime policies. "King Woodrow" appoints officials (Baker, McAdoo, Garfield—recognizable cabinet members) and shows favoritism: he protects the South financially while heavily taxing and stripping the North. The satire suggests Wilson's administration exploited regional differences and played favorites during wartime. The cartoon below illustrates coercive Red Cross fundraising: a woman with a collection plate threatens to kiss men unless they donate $1-$2, while onlookers watch. The caption claims this method is "quicker, better, and more hygienic" than other collection methods—satirizing both aggressive charity tactics and wartime social upheaval.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
After the War LL of our wrongs shall be righted After the war; None of our tasks will be slighted After the war; Women will all be gay, Children will sing and play, All our investments will pay After the war. Nothing at sixes and sevens After the war; All of our hells will be heavens. After the war; Weary will get a rest, Misery will be blest, Worst will become the best After the war. What if, readier-hearted During the war, Some of these good things were started During the war? Wouldn't we multiply The chances that you and I Might be happy by and by, After the war? ARLW. FA Swe veer AD TABYE Kings Revised 1, And in those days lived King Woodrow, who ruled over the land of the Pro-Germans, the Cohenites, the Clan-na-Gaelites and the Americanites, and his fame waxed mightily, so that it was known, yea, even unto the utter- most parts of the earth, 2. And King Woodrow again smote his typewriter and commanded to be set over the people a certain man named Baker, who was a pacifist. And it was done. And he commanded to be set over them one McAdoo, who was a Hudsontubite of the family of Dollar- ites. And it was so, but some said it was only so so. 3. And King Woodrow commanded further and said, Behold, I saw in a field a herd of professors grazing, and they were fair to look upon. And one of them shall I call Garfield, and him will I make ruler of furnaces, And it was done even as he commanded. 4. Then King Woodrow said to these men, Because I have made thee and because there is famine in the land, I therefore command thee to be “T WILL KISS wo DOESNT @= $]“°<TO THE > ¥ RED CROSS FOR CHARITY THIS METHOD WORKS QUICKER AND BETTER THAN THE OTHER, AND 1S MUCH MORE HYGIENIC + EVERY MAN "+ ><. kind to the Southerner and see that he come not to any harm, 3. Let his fields wax white cotton, and about the price thereof keep thou silent. And do thou lend him money a hundred millions against his need, and favor him in all the ways thou mindest of, and see that thou let him down easy 6. And King Woodrow commanded again and Behold, soak the Northerner and bid him win the war. And tax him mightily, and let not up on him in any way w with said, y atsoever, and strip him of his clothing and house- hold and of the Flame wherewith he hath hitherto en- dured against the cold. And it was done. 7. Then was King Woodrow exalt- ed above all other kings, and the gospel that he preached was exalted above all others. And all the people bowed down, and the words that he spake were good, and his messages were mighty. And there was none might stand against him for words of fair intent. ornaments comicbooks.com