Life, 1918-03-14 · page 26 of 40
Life — March 14, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains WWI-era American satire mocking military bureaucracy and procedures. **Top cartoon:** A soldier boasts of killing a "Prussian baby"—crude propaganda reflecting wartime dehumanization of the enemy. **"Owning Up":** A bank officer confronts an income tax collector, sarcastically questioning his identity. This references the newly-implemented federal income tax (1913), which was unpopular and unfamiliar to many Americans. The joke: the tax collector is so unknown/unwelcome that even a banker doesn't recognize him. **"A Billion Bugs":** This satirizes the Army's obsessive inoculation schedule. The detailed mock-schedule of medical procedures—with invented diseases like "Tasmanian epizooty" and "fox-bite"—exaggerates soldiers' complaints about constant vaccinations. The humor lies in the absurd accumulation and the final note that they don't inoculate against inoculation itself. **"A Possibility":** A brief joke predicting post-war social change, likely referencing evolving class dynamics.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“psy Jove! I'VE KILLED A PRUSSIAN BABY!” Owning Up B K OFFICER (after answering a myriad of ques- tions anent the income tax): Who are you, anyway? I don’t seem to know you. Aren't you a stranger in town? “Tam the collector of internal revenue for this district, who was sent here to explain to the people how to reckon their income tax!” & S on FUR THAT WARMS A MONARCH WARMED A BEAR” bands will he playing “ Hail to the Ch A Billion Bugs No Shortage in U. S. Army's Germ Supply Anyway RMY life is just one darned inoculation after an- other. The average soldier is as full of holes as a porus plaster. They aren't bullet holes. They are the apertures through which all sort of anti-bugs are intro- duced into his system, Each soldier is issued a billion bugs, for whose up-keep he is held responsible. They hike hither and thither through his system. They drill on his spii column and hold sham battles on his cerebrum, He spends half his time getting inoculated, and the rest of it recover- ing from the inoculations, Here is the schedule of a typical day in training camp when the doctors are in an inoculating mood, 6 A.M. Reveille. 6:15. Report to Dr. Jabb for inoculation against sleep- ing sickness. 6:30. Breakfast and inoculation against indigestion, 7. Drill, 7:11, Report to Dr, Poke for inoculation against bald- ness, 8. All men must be inoculated in the left shoulder- Dlade against Tasmanian epizooty, in case the army goes to Tasmani 9:01, Report to Dr. Pricker to have 5,765,899 anti-prickly heat germs injected in the right funny-bone. 11:07. Second inoculation against flat feet and warts. 12. Mess. Men will be inoculated with one plate of stew and four cubic inches of bread pudding. 1 P.M. Report to nearest doctor to be inoculated with any germs he happens to have around. 2:20. All men suffering from fox-bite or squirrel-bite report to Dr. Kneedle for inoculation. Drill (if able). 3. Ankle inspection by Dr, Slasher. 3. Bring your calves to Dr. Punch’s tent for inocu- lation against frost-bite. 4. Special inoculation in Dr. Muff’s tent. All men suf- fering from alimony, pip, cauliflower ears, free verse, sistent sneezing or a’ Prophylactic treatment. 5. Mess. FE: lent of one plate of beans, one mug of tea and one piece of bread. He may take it, or use it for ammunition. 6-9, All men must stay in their tents, as the doctors may think up a new inoculation, and may want someone to practice on, 9:16, All men who are still conscious will be inoculated against insomnia and mule-kick, to. Taps (for survivors). N. B.—The only thing they don't inoculate you against in the army is inoculation. A Possibility Food will win this war. Brenna: S per- crsion to work, must report for ch man will be issued one pill, the equiva- ENHAM: Mrs. And after the war I suppose the comicbooks.