Life, 1918-01-24 · page 26 of 40
Life — January 24, 1918 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This one-act play satirizes World War I-era paranoia about German immigrants in America. The joke targets both the government's overzealous restrictions AND anti-German stereotypes. **The setup:** Hans, a German immigrant ("alien enemy"), laments that President Wilson's edict forbids aliens from approaching the waterfront—ruining his plan to plant a bomb on a departing transport ship. **The punchline:** His wife Gretchen points out that *she* isn't classified as an "alien enemy" because the law specifies "males." She volunteers to deliver the bomb herself, and even suggests enlisting other "neutral" allies (Bulgarians, Turks). Hans celebrates her patriotic willingness. **The satire's target:** This caricatures anti-German hysteria by depicting German-Americans as would-be saboteurs, while mocking the government's crude legal definitions that might accidentally exclude actual threats. The exaggerated dialect and domestic scene reinforce period stereotypes. The cartoon above shows news of European war reaching remote settlements, setting the comedic context for homefront anxieties.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NEWS REACHES MAKUKALUK THAT THERE IS A WAR EN EUROPE Alien Enemies lt Comedy in One Act of Tragic Import to Americans Dramatis Personae Haws, an “alien enemy” Greteues, his frau. Scene: Their dinin, Pace: Somewhere in Manhattan, room, (As the curtain rises Hans and Gretchen are di: cating a light breakfast of beer and ham and sauerkraut and pickled pigs’ feet and so on ad nauseam. Hans is read- ing his morning Tageblatt.) Hans (after a pause sufficiently long to permit the audi- ence to drink in, as it were, the details of the scene, putting down his paper impatiently): Ain't dot annoying! Gretcuen (after a long pull at the beer): Ain't vot an- noying ? Hans: Vy, der Bresident hass had der audassity to issue an edict ferbidding all alien enemies to come mittin a hun- dred yards from der vater-front! Und choost as I vas about to plandt a bomb on dat transport dot sails next Friday morning at two dirty-zix! Gott im Himmel! Ain't ve bombers got a shanst? By Gott!— Gretcnen (interrupting him gent Let’s see der paper. (Takes it and reads, “ An ‘alien enemy’ shall be construed as meaning ‘any German or Austrian male’,” ete., ete.) Vy, Hans! Vat are you talking about? Vy so down-hearted? Am I dead yet? Haf I losdt my strength? Can't I valk? All iss not lost dat listens like it! Hans: Vat are you meaning by yourself?—“ Can't I valk?” Eh? GRETCHE Such stupidness! Unter dot law Tam not an alien enemy! I ain't a male, am 17—At least you didn’t marry me fer von! (Hans begins to see the light.) Chust you gif me dot bomb, and ve'll dose Yankees such an vill remember so long as dey live! Hays: But you're a voman, I don't like to haf you valking around alone at night. Harm might come to you! GretcueNn (tenderly): Stupidness noch einmal! You can go as far as der “dead line” mit me, und den you can gif me der bomb, all wrapt up in brown paper so dey won't suspect nutting, un den I can do de rest. It iss so easy! But if you vant me to haf company, you can send Boris Bogamils und Achmed Gogsak along mit me; dey are Bul- garians und can go anyvere dey vish. Oh, und dere iss Ali Baba und Ben Gobble Gobble, der Turkeys, who could— Hans (ecstatically): Mein frau! Mein vonderful Gretchen! You are vort more as a hundred alien enemies to der Vaterlandt. You vill get a Iron Cross fer diss! (Curtain descends rapidly upon a scene of great domestic happiness.) explosiveness as di Jacob S. Fassett, Ir. Burdens SMALL boy who had been in the habit of leaving food on his plate was warned that Mr. Hoover would not approve of it. He meditatively replied: “I've always had to mind daddy and mother and Aunt Mary and God, and now here comes along Mr. Hoover.” “D)ID you take that job for the government, Jim?” No, there wasn’t a thing in it but the salary.”