Life, 1917-11-15 · page 8 of 40
Life — November 15, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces: **Top illustration**: A satirical cartoon titled "Progressive Parent" showing a father proudly presenting his young child taking a first step, suggesting modern parenting celebrates even mundane developmental milestones as noteworthy achievements. **Main story/cartoon**: "The End of a Perfect Day" features the Crown Prince (appears to be Austro-Hungarian royalty based on context clues) receiving congratulations for military victories. The secretary recounts offensive operations—attacks on French battery positions and divisions—presented as accomplishments. The cartoon satirizes militarism and the pride taken in warfare, portraying military success as a leisurely accomplishment worthy of celebration, similar to the "progressive parent" celebrating a child's first step. The humor lies in comparing trivial achievements to serious warfare.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Progressive Parent: aut SU YOUR CHILD TOOK HIS FIRST STEP YESTERDA HOW INTERESTING! The End of a Perfect Day HE Crown Prince, with hat perclied rakishly on the side of his head and a hectic flush on his vulpine face, swaggered into his private apart- ments at headquarters and tapped his secretary familiarly with his bamboo cane “Anything new since I he inquired, was here swaying slightly and striving with poor success to focus his eyes on the secretary's face. “Oh, yes, Highness!" cried the sec- retary, leaping to his feet and saluting. “There are two thousand cight hun- dred and sixty-five letters of congratu- lation for your magnificent work in the last offensive. There are also seven cablegrams, sixt sages and four hundred and_ninety- three telegrams, including four from the royal family of Greece and three from members of the Swedish net.” The “What about, ishly. “Why, Highness,” protested the sec- ight wireless mes- Cabi- hiccoughed they talking asked peev- Crown Prince offensive are von Kraut?” he retary, “they are speaking of the last one at Verdun, when you—er to seize and fortify that advantageous ridge five miles behind your former decided position.” “Oh, that Prince, steering a zig-zag “T thought they one,” said the Crown course to, the window, meant the one in which I lost five divisions. Anything else, von’ Kraut?” “Yes, Highness,” said the secretary. fhe Kaiser sends you the Order of St. Jonah with crossed fishhooks for your wonderful success; and the cities of Pretzelstein, Schmierkaseburg and Ganzebrust-am-Oder have made you honorary mayor in recognition of your stupendous bravery and wonderful strategy in the nineteenth attack.” The Crown Prince lowered himself into a chair. “ Which one was that, von Kraut?” he asked thickly. The secretary salthed punctilious!: “The nineteenth attack, Highness, said he, “was the one in which you sent three divisions against the battery of French 75's to see if the 75's could fire with sufficient rapidity to anni- hilate all three of them. You found that they could, don't you remember, Highness?” But Highness, after swaying stupidly from side to side, fell from his chair to the floor; whereupon the faithful von Kraut picked him up in his arms and put him to | Somewhere in Maine DIPLOMACY is essentay, country station-master. even in Witness. a posteard from the local station-agent to the Prohibition magistrate: Sir: Please send without delay for the case of books directed to which is lying at this sta leaking badly.” you, ion, and is | wrere Dap tH THE CAMOUFLAGE COUCH SCREEN comicbooksicoi COM