Life, 1917-11-15 · page 3 of 40
Life — November 15, 1917 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct sections: **Left side:** A satirical poem titled "Ballad of the Modern Short Story" mocking popular fiction trends. It jokes that regardless of plot details or settings, modern stories always end the same way: "He marries the girl in the end." Below is a section called "Women and Children First" quoting a German statement about starvation during wartime (likely WWI), with an accompanying illustration showing a figure amid destruction. **Right side:** A full-page advertisement for the AutoStrop Military Razor, marketed to soldiers as compact, self-sharpening, and requiring minimal maintenance. The ad features a woman giving the razor to a uniformed soldier. The page juxtaposes cynical commentary on American culture with wartime product marketing, reflecting early 20th-century concerns about both literary conventions and military readiness.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Ballade of the Modern Short Story TH plots of the tales that appear In weeklies and monthlies to-day ‘Are hectic or grand or austere Or sad or romantic or (Or ancient, I'm sorry to s But this is their general tren: The hero can never say He marries the girl in the end. ay!" The scenes may be laid far or near: In Washington Square or Tol ‘Mid coolies who jabber and le: Or Prussians in sinister But scented with lilacs and Or asphalt-and-rice-powder blend Or blubber or blood or sachet, He marries the girl in the end He may be a tramp, a cashier, A soiled but upright stowaway, A crook or a bold financier, A dancer from some cabaret, A spy, a poilu from the fray, A Briton who hates to unbend, A Yankee lieutenant (Hooray !)— He marries the girl in the end. L'Envoi Ah, Prince, we regard with dismay The tale so infrequently penned That doesn’t pretend to convey He marries the girl in the end. Kenneth L. Roberts. Women and Children First “\Y/HAT will Germany do when her men begin to starve?” “That won't happen for a long time, for the women and children will starve first.” “NEN may come and men may go. But the brook goes on forever.” So it is with Lire. It goes on for- ever, bringing joy and happiness to its aunual subscribers, fifty-two times a year, | Pitcher Kelly (on the firing line): we LOVES ME! ME Loves ME Not! _| Give your soldier this Military Razor It was made expressly for him “ig | The AutoStrop Razor in its New Military Kit is the real soldier’s razor. Why? Because it is compact and takes up so little room, because it is light and adds so little weight, because it is complete with its trench mirror all ready to be hung up on the nearest nail—but especially because it is the famous AutoStrop Razor, the only razor that is self- maintaining. It is the only razor that SHARPENS ITS OWN BLADES and keeps them free from rust. This is a big thing because the blades cannot get dull. The 12 blades you get with the AutoStrop Razor will give you more than s00 clean, comfortable shaves. It strops, shaves and is cleaned, all without taking apart. wo Trench Mirror To Dealers: Write to us for details of the 30-day approval plan which has been so successful. Kits in three styles: Black leather, pigskin or khaki Weight, 5 ounces AUTOSTROP SAFETY RAZOR CO., Ltd. 83 Duke St., Toronto, Canada AUTOSTROP SAFETY RAZOR CO. 345 Fifth Avenue, New York