Life — November 8, 1917 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tommie Sizes Up Sammie rawther ‘ave ‘is coffee than ‘is beer, E cawn't tyke any pleasure drinkin’ tea, *E calls th’ Lunnon Times, in langwidge queer, Unfair In a Kansas town where two brothers are engaged in the retail coal business a revival was recently held, and the elder of the brothers was converted. For weeks he tried to persuade his brother to join the church, One day he asked : “Why can’t you join the church like I did?” “It’s a fine thing for you to belong to the church,” replied the younger brother. “Tf I join the church, who'll weigh the coal?""—London Opinion. Vexep Wire: There: is no calamity can befall a woman that I have not suf- fered! Amtaste Hussaxp: Wrong, my dear; why, you have never been a widow. Vexeo Wire: I said calamity, sir. —Tit-Bits. Skeptic: 1e 1 vos’r Mane Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in,the United States, Great I Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in C. S. Patent Office. $5.00 a ye in advance. al postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year: to Canada, 52 ngle current copies, 3, after three months from date of The text and illustrations in Rights in Great Brita England, arly to Lire, Rolls House, Br ings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., ruts cums TIAN SCIENTIST JUMP I'LL EAT MY COLLAR Live's Le 2 contribution will be Official organ—of a cemet'ry. peaks in such a bloomin’ funny wye— "E talks of buddies, side-kicks, mutts and geeks, Bat 'e can ‘old ‘is end up any dye, And every blinker listens when 'e speaks So ‘ere’s to you, Sammie Wammie, if you'll let me call you so. It seems jolly strange to ‘ear you call a kippy blink a bo, But no matter wot yer langwidye, and no matter wot you do, Hi daresay we ‘ave some failin's wot seem bloomin’ strange to you. —Detroit Saturday Night “You'Lt find my ancestor's name on the Declaration of Independence.” “Well, you'll find my name on the registration lists of 1917.” —Kansas City Journal, c is for sale by all newsdealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from bot supplied fre he principal cities in the worl: lon Office, Rolks House. Breams Buildi ed unless ‘accompar Lave. does not hold itself responsible for the loss or nomreturn of tributions. en tr . London, E. Notice of change of address should reach this offce ten days prior to the issue to be af “d. Soy stamped ad “edt Time has no power to wither the blossoms in Love's rose-garden Time and space are conquered in the new novel DROWSY by Life’s editor JOHN AMES MITCHELL. A lover with a strange inheritance and an in- vention which breaks all records for speed in travel, pley their part in a romance more start- ling than “Amos Judd” or “The Pines of Lory.” On sale at all Bookshops. Net $1.50. STOKES, Publisher AFTER THE WAR Frat: VELL, FRITZ, DERE’S ONE GOOT TING. VE CAN MAKE LITTLE HEINRICIE A SUIT OUT OF VEKE YOUR STUMMICK USED TO i HI th ton w sands it all white: hearte and I for f the st of no not di the g Three Blue! “A ard. | Bosw tion t P Be: Your h “beautiful b poreay fai Petrole | sheen, soft berpeak b ratucal, de leur ¢ beasties. th od $1.00 8 cel post PAR Sts hee ona fosnat