Life, 1917-11-08 · page 24 of 40
Life — November 8, 1917 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This *Life* magazine page satirizes American military readiness during World War I. The main article, "The Palsied Ordnance Bureau," mocks the slow rifle production rate—only 1,300 rifles daily when the military needs thousands. The satire's bitter point: at current rates, the army would need over three years to equip one million men, yet the Ordnance Bureau claims it will triple production by year's end. The author doubts this, suggesting the bureau doesn't grasp the war's scale and urgency. The cartoon depicts a social gathering where a professor realizes he must abandon his "nebular hypothesis" (scientific work) to maintain his partnership—likely satirizing how civilians must set aside normal life for wartime obligations. "Latest Betting Odds" offers sardonic predictions about the war and politics, including references to Bernstorff (German ambassador) and La Follette (anti-war senator), using impossible odds to mock various wartime absurdities. The final joke about gluttons is unrelated filler humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE PROFESSOR RE. THE WILLOWBYS' W. LIZES THAT HE MUST GET HIS MIND OFF THE 3 ARD. 23 ERULAR HYPOTHESIS IF HE WANTS TO REMAIN ON COOD TERMS WITH HIS PARTNER The Palsied Ordnance Bureau of the latest bits of good news from Washington is to the effect that we are still turning out only thir- teen hundred rifles per day. If this rate of production were kept up we could supply an army of one million five hundred thousand men with one rifle apiece in one thou- sand one hundred and fifty-three days, or about three years and a quarter. The Ordnance Bureau reassures us, however. By the first of the year, it says, more than six thousand rifles will be produced each day. At that rate of produc- tion an army of one million five hundred thousand men could be supplied with one rifle apiece in two hundred and fifty days. Unfortunately, this war is hard on rifles, and each man needs two of them. So if six thousand rifles were turned out each day an army of one million five hun- dred thousand men could be fully equipped with rifles in about a year and a half. Our army will be using wooden guns for some time to come—unless something happens to make the Ordnance Bureau realize that we are engaged in the greatest war the world has ever known. Latest Betting Odds HAT Bernstorff’s Washington friends aren't bragging about the friendship now............ 8-1 That the War Department will wish it had taken General Wood's advice two years ago That the War Department won't admit it. . That La Follette won't receive the treatment he deserves from the Senate........... sees 500-1 That Germany won't make fun of our Secret Serv- ice during the present year. a3 ; That the German soldier who receives a reward for capturing the first American soldier will hav to spend a few days in the hospital before going back to the trenches.............0055 eee GOT That it will cost eight cents a minute to live if the war continues another three years. . 100—1 4-1 13. “EYATHER, what is a glutton?” “A glutton is a grown man who can eat almost as much as a small boy.”