Life — October 25, 1917 — page 41: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Navy is on have ences t has thout intry, etary vities use. c has etary that being ¢, as rtant hom f too antic ders. trust our > be eres :pon we nent and the ‘ety ofa hich is ver of Proves aN The Weakness of the Chief- of-Staff ENERAL VON _ BLUNDER- BURG of the Seventh German Army Corps was conferring with his Chief-of-Staff on the great offensive against the Allied armies. “How about the hoof-and-mouth disease germs?” enquired the gallant old soldier. ‘Have these been care- fully planted among the civilian popu- lation of the sector which we propose to attack?” “Assuredly, Excellenz,” replied the Chief-of-Staff confidently. “We have also planted a number of containers loaded with typhus bacilli where they will do the most good. The containers will automatically open five days be- fore our offensive commences.” “Good!” exclaimed the brave gen- eral. “And have you ordered the diphtheria cultures for our brave secret agents to drop in enemy wells?” “These cultures have arrived, Excel- lenz,” declared the Chief-of-Staff. “They will be distributed to-morrow The general stroked his mustache and beamed complacently. “And of course,” he continued, “you have pro- vided our intrepid aviators with bombs loaded with bubonic plague germs, which they are to drop on the Allies’ hospitals?” The face of the Chief-of-Staff grew pale beneath its coat of tan. “ Excel- lenz,” he expostulated, “I thought we had agreed that bubonic plague germs were a bit too potent to be dropped on wounded men and Red Cross nurses; so I had the aviators’ bombs loaded with German measles germs.” General von Blunderburg became purple with rage. “Fool!” he shout- Nd Tareyton | ed.“ Weak-kneed, lily-livered fool! Hauptmann had been made Chief-of- London Cigarettes | Are you crazy, that you should become Staff, and was enthusiastically suggest- Herbert Tareyton London Smoki Mixture as soft-hearted as a silly girl? Pfui! ing the names of new and hideous % lb. 50c in Get out of my sight, and report to the disease-germs to be used against the Sampk Falk Tobacco 0 Co. 58 Si 8West4s 50S NewYork. New’ BE E L L- A N S Fatherland on my staff!” IR ISAAC NEWTON disc Ab so 1 ute ] y R emoves As the deposed Chief-of-Staff.slunk the nature of gravity through from the room, General von Blunder- ing an apple drop from a tree. An Indig estion. One package burg shouted loudly for Hauptmann one can discover the nature of levity 25e at alld ist von Schrecklichstein. by sending five dollars for a year’s sub- c at all druggists. Ten minutes later the high-born tion to Live, Refinement in IVORY PY-RA-LIN UE LONNNELLO NNUAL LO UL ETE LO NNN SLO ND HERE is in Ivory Py-ra-lin ware something more defini- tive_of character than the soft mellow tones of purest ivory. There is a refinement—a richness—a solidity that ap- peals to the connoisseur. Our charming Du Barry pattern embraces many pleasing articles de toilette for both lady-and gentleman. Each made of this exquisite all-American product—and each beautiful in its purity of design. The better stores show a generous assortment. SE LPAUSUL TPES TP ASy Brochure upon request. E. I. du Pont de Nemours & Company THE ARLINGTON WORKS 725 Broadway New York women, the children, the wounded and Corpse Utilization blishment for the hospital staffs of the enemy. duty to-morrow. I will have no cow- ardly traitors to the honor of the ork. comicbooks.com