Life — October 25, 1917 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LISH When Jeopardy Left “We once had a servant-girl whom we nicknamed ‘ Jeopardy’ because she could not be prevented from pouring kerosene directly from the can upon a lighted fire. One day Jeopardy left us very suddenly, and she never came back. We were sorry slie left, as Jeopardy was a good girl. It developed that she had chanced to find a fifty-pound case of dynamite-sticks in the wood-shed, which she had been using to start the fire in the kitchen stove. Sometimes dynamite will work all right for such a purpose, but it is notional stuff and cannot be depended upon merely to burn, It was during one of those in- tervals that Jeopardy wen —Hudson Maxim's Dynamite Stories.” Ir is lucky for most of us that we don’t have to pay income taxes according to the impressions we tried to create while on our vacations.—The Lamb, EGYPTIAN DEITIES “Phe Utmost in 4 Plain Endo Bye fobehe Moers of te Ugh ond Epp Oporto ates “THE MANOR" Asheville, North Carolina IN AMERICA—AN ENGLISH INN—Perfect GOLF. Our Little Friends A bacteriologist of Lyons three years ago analyzed the bacterial population of a small mud pie with which his little boy was playing. The following was the re- sult: Diphtheria germs. Measles germs Smallpox ge +++ 900,000 Lockjaw . 600,000 Dysentery enna 900,000 Pneumonia . $00,000 Tuberculosis 620,000 And a physician pronounced the boy ThOLOWVbGER GAY, VOU Ge KE to be in perfect health! YOUR FAULT! WHISKERS AND A BALD —From Living Tissue. MEAD—AND 1'M 0} ONE “AR OLD! To protect those surfaces of the teeth which the brush cannot reach, rinse the mouth with PAB ep diluted —— LISTERINE The Safe Antiseptic The local pawnbroker's shop was on fire, and among the crowd of spectators was an old woman who attracted much attention by her sobs and cries of despair. “What is the matter with you?” a fireman said. “ You don’t own the shop, do you?” No,” she wailed, “but my old man’s is pawned there, and he don’t know '—The Argonaut. Ki Ltnovc# only seventeen, he had come to “join up,” and was in the re- cruiting office answering some questions that the sergeant was putting to him. “Look here, my man,” said the ser- geant, “are you willing to die for your country?” The recruit opened his eyes with aston- ing up to make a German die for his. —Tit-Bits, Ansouute knowledge I have none, But my aunt's charwoman'’s sister's son Heard a policeman on his beat Tell a housemaid in Downing Street That he had a brother who had a friend Who knew when the war was going to end.—Christmas Card, Par had just joined a horse regiment, and was undergoing the necessary prac- tice in the riding school. After a par- ticularly desperate attempt to unseat its rider, the horse managed to entangle a hoof in one of the stirrups. “ Begorra,” said Pat, “if you're comin’ on, then I'm gettin’ off !"—Tit-Bits. “My dear, I saved ten dollars to-day.” “ Buying what?” —Louisville Courier-Journal. Wa well; for s secre dition docte ever. comicbooks gil