Life — September 13, 1917 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAUT SCISSORS C } AuT NULLUS = oan He’d Been to the “Front” The hobo knocked at the back door and the lady of the house appeared. “Lady,” he said, “I was at the front— “¥ou poor “One of war's victims. Wa she exclaimed. ull T get you some food, and you shall tell me You were in the trenches, man!" your story. you s: ‘ot in the trenches front—" “Don't try to talk with your mouth full, Take your time. What deed of heroism did you do at the front?” “Why, I knocked, but [ couldn't make nobody hear, so I came around to the I was at the “Arter Larnin’” A keen-eyed mountaineer led his over- grown son into a country schoolhouse. “This here boy's arter larnin’,” he an- nounced. “ What's yer bill 0° fare?” “Our curriculum, sir,” corrected the schoolmaster, “embraces geography, arithmetic, trigonometry —" That'll do,’ “That'll do. triggernometr: in the family.” —The People's Home Journal. interrupted the father. Load him up well with He’s the only poor shot ancously in th tu Live is published every Thursday, simu Canada and British Possessions, Title registered nts. S blication, 25 cents. Issues prior to 1010 are copyrighted. For je United S S. Patent ( st of print. , Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. MELD ON MARGIN es, Great Britain, $5.00 a year Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.03 a year; Single current copies, 10 cents. Back numbers, after three months print Rights in Great Britain C., England. Wanted All the Spoils An old colored man charged with steal- ing chickens, was arraigned in court and was incriminating himself when the judge said: “You ought to have a lawyer, Where's your lawyer?” “Ah ain't got no lawyer, jedge,” said the old “ Very well, then,” said his honor, “I'l assign a lawyer to defend you.” “Oh, no, suh; no, suh! Please don’t do dat!” the darky begged. “Why not?” asked the judge. “It won't cost you anything. Why don’t you want a lawye “Well, jedge, Ab'll tell you, sub,” said the old man, waving his tattered old hat confidentially. “ Hit’s dis way. tah enjoy dem chickens mahse’f.” Chicago Ne: Biting Reproof During a dust-storm at one of the army camps, a recruit sought shelter in the cook's tent. “Tf you put the lid on that camp kettle you would not-get so. much dust in your soup.” “See here, my lad, your business is to serve your country.” “Yes,” replied the recruit, “but not h wan" istian Register. Mistress: Ellen, what are you put- ting the fly paper outside the house for? Geeex Girt: Sure, ma'am, it gets filled up quicker outside. —Boston Transcript. or sale by all newsiealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from book: the principal cities in the world foreign trade supplied from Is House, Breams Buildings, Bo ws ion will be returned unless accom does not hold itself responsible Lave is sellers in Live's Lond N ed and addressed nereturn of wh of address should reach this office ten days prior to the date of EGYPTIAN DEITIES R lure refinemen Hi feisee a siete , PREFER Deities to any other cic 25° | Makers of the Highest Grade Tarkish } and Egyptian Cigarettes in tho Wedd ‘Try the most luxurious and efficient garter selling for less than fifty cents The New Double Grip «. BOSTON ~ Garter Pads are light and cool—no eeASui heavy thickn only thin facings and clean white linings, which prevent discoloration. Double Grips, Single Grips Gronor Frost co., Mane: comicbookms iM